Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

These days health diseases increasing rapidly and it should be prohibited. I am totally agree with this view . This essay will discuss about the reasons of sickness from this and why it should be forbidden.

To begin with, smoking is cause of many diseases . The main diseases is lung cancer . If the individual is continuously consuming it then they will get lung cancer . Not only lung cancer it will lead to heart diseases and breathing disorders as well. The treatment of these illnesses is expensive and most of the people cannot afford that medications. People survival is difficult because it affect to immunity of the body as well at the end most people died because of this sickness.

The smoking should be banned specially on the public places because it affects to the who are not taking it because of that smell and smoke. For example they get soar throat and cough . Moreover, government should take stringent actions on the sale of cigarette and ban of consumption of smoking on crowded places. For instance, Authorities should impose a fine and punishment for those people who are selling the cigarette and consuming it in public because it affect the health of the other people as well.

There are so many health problems which cause by smoking But taking actions by governance can control that issue. If they make specific punishment and fine may be it will work at some extent. It will prevent the issues of health problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of banning smoking. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention health risks like lung cancer and the impact on passive smokers, the arguments lack depth and specific supporting evidence. The essay tends to repeat the same points about health and government intervention rather than exploring the broader implications or alternative viewpoints. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported idea that directly contributes to your overall argument. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'For example' and 'Moreover'. Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, making the flow feel slightly disjointed. For instance, the transition between the health risks and the call for a public ban could be smoother. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'the who are not taking it', which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring logical progression between sentences would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'sickness', 'diseases', and 'problems' repeatedly. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'consuming it' (referring to smoking) and 'the who are not taking it'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'respiratory ailments', 'legislation', 'public health crisis', or 'deterrents'. Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on natural collocations will significantly improve your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('smoking is cause of', 'diseases is'), missing articles ('on public places'), and awkward phrasing ('it affect to the who are not taking it'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and capitalization after periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be a great next step.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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