Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, number of smoking people has been increased sharply due to stressful lifestyle. I completely agree that smoking is dangerous and can cause personal life, passive smokers and also serious illness such as a cancer. I also believe that it should be made either illegal or impose ban on selling smoking products. I will explain in detail in upcoming paragraphs.

First and foremost, individuals are using vapor in order to get some relief from workload. They smoke with their work collogues and also sometimes with family members. Besides that, when people smoke in front of their child can create bad impression. Secondly, it is also harmful for those people who does not do smoking but they are surrounded with those who does smoking every day. Research also shows that passive smoker get easily ill then the person who smoking regularly.

Another negative side is that smoking cigar can create lungs issue which can be costly and time consuming to solve. As a result, it create cancer in human body which is almost impossible to recover. Cancer treatment can be possible but not everyone will afford. Recent WHO reports shows that 40% people are losing their life due to lungs cancer. In addition, smoking can also reduce your lifespan because it contains tobacco which is extremely harmful for human body.

In conclusion, people smoke a lot due to stressful life but it can be solve with various path. Hence, I believe that smoking should be ban or mad illegal everywhere in order to reduce bad impression in front of child, healthy life for non smoker and also for individuals well human being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified the health risks and the impact on passive smokers, which supports your argument for a ban. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the suggestion that smoking should be made illegal is a strong claim that requires more nuanced exploration of the practical implications or alternative solutions. While you mention WHO reports and health issues, some points, such as the 'bad impression' on children, are mentioned but not fully extended. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is thoroughly explained with clear logical links to your main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'it can be solve with various path' in the conclusion, which lacks a clear antecedent. Additionally, some transitions feel repetitive. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence clearly connects to the previous one will help improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'number of smoking people' instead of 'the number of smokers', and 'well human being' in the conclusion, which is unclear. You also use 'collogues' (colleagues) and 'vapor' (vaping) in a way that suggests a limited grasp of specific terminology. To improve, focus on using more natural collocations and precise academic vocabulary rather than relying on basic descriptive terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'passive smoker get easily ill' and 'it create cancer'. There are also errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in front of child' instead of 'in front of children'. While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and pluralisation would be a significant step forward.

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