Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.
To what extent do you agree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Smoking is a addictive thing and in world many people are die daily because of smoking. So goverment should have to ban on it and aware people about it. I agree with the statement and will describe about it in the upcoming paragraph.
To embark upon, smoking is a very serious issue in the world a millions of people because of the smoking. It impact on our health in many ways such as, if any person do the smoking daily it decrease the efficency of lungs and sometimes it make hard to breath. As well as, smoking is a very addictive habbit and if any person want to leave this, it is very hard for them. For example, many organisations are claim that they help to reduce the addiction of smoking but still they do not that the chances of this is 100%.
Furthermore, smoking in public places such as, park and hospital have negative impact on other people health. When any other person inhale the smoke it affect the lungs of this person. Similarlly, it is very easy to seen in the hospitals that, because of oversomoking for a long time it caused the harmful disease such as, cancer or a tumer. In this cases, there is only few percant of possibility that the person remain alive. For example, on every smoking product, companies gave warning that it cause cancer and it is responsible for death.
In conclusion, Government should take strict action against these smoking companies and banned their products in the country.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by stating an agreement with the idea that smoking should be made illegal, presenting reasons such as health impacts, addictiveness, and secondhand smoke. However, the development of ideas is limited and sometimes repetitive. For instance, the mention that 'millions of people' are affected lacks specific explanation or extended support, and the reasoning tends to generalise without robust elaboration. While a clear position is presented throughout the essay, the arguments remain somewhat superficial and lack the fully extended depth required for higher bands. Therefore, the response aligns best with Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall progression lacks smooth transitions and clear logical development. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'To embark upon,' instead of standard introductory phrases like 'To begin with,' and repetitive transitions like 'For example.' Paragraphing is attempted, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, but referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly with pronouns like 'this' or 'it' referring back ambiguously to previous clauses. These organizational flaws place the response solidly at Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'Smoking is a addictive thing' instead of 'addictive habit,' and 'aware people about it' instead of 'raise awareness.' Other errors include 'efficency,' 'habbit,' and 'oversomoking.' While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'efficiency' and 'organisations,' the numerous inaccuracies in spelling and word choice frequently cause strain for the reader, fitting the Band 4.0 descriptor well.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex structures that are consistently faulty. There are persistent errors in basic grammar, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'many people are die daily,' 'government should have to ban on it,' and 'it caused the harmful disease such as, cancer or a tumer.' Punctuation errors are also common. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and reflect a Band 4.0 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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