Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.
To what extent do you agree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is true that tobacco consumtion is dangoures for people life. I am fully agree with this satement because smoking is the main problem of dangours illnesses and these are made illegaly. I will discuss the reasons in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin with, there are many reasons that smoking can lead individuals towards illness. First of all, when people smoke it effect on their lungs and they can not breath properly, it is also the reason of death in early age. For example, a news was published in the newspaper "AAJ TAKK" revealed that deathrate in India was reached to 69% due to the tobacco consumtion. So, this is clear that smoking is injurious for health.
The second reason is that it increases the criminal activities and violent the law. To clear it more, many of individuals started doing roberies , snaching and steeling to fullfill their needs of smoking. To instance, my father told me that his boss son started doing steeling when his father did not gave him money for tobacco. Moreover, there are so many individuals who are selling drugs illegaly in market that is opposite the law.
In conclusion, i illustrait that i am agree with this statement that smoking is dangerous for health such as lungs problem and also the reason to break law of any country for money.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student addresses the prompt by stating a clear position of full agreement and attempting to provide reasons. However, the response falls significantly short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 225 words as noted in the length check. This under-length issue directly impacts task fulfillment. Furthermore, while the first body paragraph discusses health consequences, the second paragraph pivots to arguing that smoking increases criminal activities and violates the law, which is an unusual and somewhat underdeveloped line of reasoning for this specific prompt. Ideas are presented but remain limited and lack deep extension, resulting in a Band 5.0 performance for this criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing a basic attempt at paragraphing. However, the logical progression is flawed, particularly in the second body paragraph where the link between smoking and criminality (such as robbery and stealing) feels disjointed and abrupt. Cohesive devices are basic and repetitive, such as 'To begin with', 'First of all', and 'The second reason is that'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the mechanical transitions limit the flow. Overall, the organizational structure meets the basic requirements for Band 5.0, where some organization is present but clear overall progression is lacking.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily impacted by spelling and word-choice errors. Examples such as 'consumtion', 'dangoures', 'satement', 'illegaly', 'effect' (used as a verb instead of affect), 'breath', 'deathrate', 'roberies', 'snaching', 'steeling', and 'illustrait' demonstrate a limited control of word forms and spelling. While the meaning can generally be inferred, these noticeable errors cause frequent distraction and strain for the reader. The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, fitting the profile of Band 4.0 or a weak Band 5.0, but given that the language attempts some less common topics, a Band 4.5 is appropriate, though we must use half-band increments, placing it firmly at Band 4.0 due to the high density of basic spelling errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response features a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences joined by basic conjunctions. Attempts at complex structures often result in grammatical errors, such as 'when people smoke it effect on their lungs and they can not breath properly' and 'my father told me that his boss son started doing steeling'. Punctuation is faulty in places, and tense consistency is occasionally disrupted. Errors are frequent and often cause difficulty for the reader, matching the official descriptors for Band 4.0 where a very limited range of structures is used and errors are frequent.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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