Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most people tends to use cigarettes all over the country without knowing the possible detrimental outcome on their health and can affect other individuals. In my personal opinion, I strongly agree that smoking must be illegal to any place in the world due to serious diseases can cause with smoking. This essay will discuss the reasons why it is important to stop people from cigarette smoking.

One main reason to stop smoking is the serious illness that can cause especially pulmonary diseases, for instance Pneumonia, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and even lung cancer. Moreover, the user is not only the person who will be affected, also with people who inhaled the smoke most specially the vulnerable individuals, like children or people with weak body immune system.

Government should focus and implement a strict compliance regarding stoping and making it illegal. For example, they must do thorough inspection in each grocery store or any company that selling cigarettes. They should implement fines for those companies that will be seen selling it, with this policy, they will be force to stop and can help lessen cause serious illnesses to each individual. People must be more responsible in each consequences they are doing like some of them having withdrawals and needs help with rehabilitation. Having said this, poverty issues will also help decrease because it will less people getting sick from smoking and rather than spending for cigarettes, people will use it to a healthier lifestyle.

To conclude this, I strongly agree that smoking must be illegal due to problems can cause like serious illness mainly respiratory diseases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position on whether smoking should be made illegal, meeting the core requirements of an opinion essay. The writer presents relevant arguments, such as the serious health consequences of smoking (e.g., pneumonia, lung cancer) and the impact of secondhand smoke on vulnerable individuals like children. Additionally, the essay explores government intervention, including store inspections and fines, as well as broader socio-economic effects such as reduced poverty and healthcare burdens. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or briefly stated, lacking deep elaboration or concrete personal examples. For instance, the discussion on withdrawals and rehabilitation feels rushed. The position is maintained throughout the text, placing this essay comfortably within Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, satisfying the basic requirements for paragraphing. Cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'To conclude this'. However, the use of cohesion is at times mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Having said this, poverty issues will also help decrease because it will less people getting sick'. Referencing and linking between sentences occasionally lack fluidity, resulting in a somewhat bumpy reading experience. Paragraphing is present and generally appropriate, though the second body paragraph groups multiple disparate ideas together, including enforcement, rehabilitation, and poverty, which detracts slightly from a smooth logical progression. These features align with the Band 6 descriptor.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-related terms such as 'detrimental outcome', 'pulmonary diseases', 'chronic obstructive pulmonary disease', and 'secondhand smoke' (or 'inhaled the smoke'). However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text. Examples include 'Most people tends to use cigarettes' instead of 'smoke cigarettes', 'due to serious diseases can cause with smoking', and 'will less people getting sick' instead of 'fewer people'. While the writer attempts less common vocabulary, inaccuracies in word formation and collocation are present, though they do not seriously impede overall communication. This performance fits the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range, leaning toward a solid 6.0 for effort and range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ('Most people tends', 'diseases can cause'), missing prepositions or auxiliary verbs ('due to serious diseases can cause', 'it will less people'), and awkward phrasing ('in each consequences they are doing'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but run-on clauses and awkward syntactic stacking (e.g., 'with this policy, they will be force to stop and can help lessen cause serious illnesses') disrupt the flow. Although these errors do not completely obscure the meaning, their frequency prevents the essay from reaching a Band 6.5, making Band 5.5 the most accurate reflection of current control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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