Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

smoking is very dangerous for human health. it can. makes the cause of a dangerous disease. Overall the essay will describe about disadvantages, on my personal experience relevant to the routine life.

smoking is basically a poison addiction, Every personal who gets this habitual addictional, can not get rid this. in some cases smoking person have to be admitted in hospitals to get rid from this bad addiction and doctors also do couseling to him. They also try to come back him to the life again. A Person having smoking addiction destroys lungs himself. lungs are badly afected with cigerette smoking and the way of respiration (taking breathing)in human is also spoiled in some cases.

Government should take precautionary measures to overcome on it. it also should be banned in all countrie to prevent sidde effects of Smoking. Different campaign should be run for about giving awareness of Smoking people. in some cases there should be committed punishment on violance of smoking addiction by people. there also should be programs on social media and tv channels for saving the lives of people form getting smoking addiction. From my personal experiences a person was was living in new imaginary World, in which he was not awared where currently he is living now,and having no sense of responsibility for his family and about kids.

In the last i will conclude this essay giving my personal opinion about smoking addiction, that it should be bicoate/avoided from everyone to stay healthy sound and safe.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt regarding whether smoking should be made illegal by presenting a clear position that it should be banned. The writer attempts to develop relevant ideas, such as the health consequences of addiction and the role of government campaigns and punishments. However, these ideas are underdeveloped and lack fully elaborated supporting evidence. For instance, the personal anecdote about a person living in an 'imaginary world' is vague and does not clearly illustrate the argument. Furthermore, some points, such as the mention of hospital admissions and counselling, are repeated rather than extended. Overall, the response meets the basic requirements of the task by taking a clear stance and touching upon various consequences and solutions, placing it at a Band 5.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a basic structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding remark, showing some organisation. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and paragraphing is poorly handled, with a lack of proper spacing or awkward groupings. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or inaccurate. For example, the transition between sentences is often abrupt, and referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in phrases like 'overcome on it' and 'try to come back him to the life again.' While the overarching topic remains visible, the mechanical and sometimes repetitive use of language without appropriate cohesive links results in a Band 4.5 score, rounded to 5.0 for overall rudimentary structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing words such as 'dangerous,' 'addiction,' 'smoking,' and 'person' multiple times throughout the text. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'makes the cause of a dangerous disease,' 'habitual addictional,' 'come back him to the life,' and 'committed punishment on violance.' Spelling errors are also present, including 'afected,' 'cigerette,' 'countrie,' 'sidde,' 'awared,' and 'bicoate.' Because the range of vocabulary is limited and noticeable errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, the response aligns with the Band 4.5 descriptors, awarded as 4.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The writer demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex sentences that are heavily flawed. There are widespread errors in grammar, punctuation, and capitalization, such as missing capital letters at the beginnings of sentences ('smoking is very dangerous...'), incorrect verb forms ('it can. makes the cause'), and faulty prepositional use ('overcome on it'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and periods misplaced. These frequent errors often strain the reader and distort meaning, placing the grammatical performance firmly in the Band 4.0 category.

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