Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Undeniably, smoking poses many threats to the health of a person. I largely agree with this statement because it causes various cardiopulmonary conditions and it have detrimental effects on the consumers and society which will be discusses in this essay with a logicalconclusion in forthcoming paragraphs.

First and foremost, smoking drastically effects the cardiopulmonary system of a person. It not only causes breathing issues but also damages the lining of the lungs. This sometimes can result in the worsening of lung condition by causing lung cancer. For instance, in recent studies, it is found that the lungs of a smoker works less effeciently as compare to the ones of the 60-year old. Hence, smoking has some adverse effects on the health of a person.

Additionally, smoking have a negative impact on the consumers which also influences the lives of a common man. A person addictive to smoking will eventually get involved in illegal practice to fulfil their needs of money to buy drugs, either by robbery or by blackmailing someone to pay the amount. To prevent this, certain rules and regulations should be enforced to protect the person. For example, proper ban should be imposed on drug distributors and making strict laws for prevention and control.

To conclude, I have large inclination in favour of this statement that smoking have many negative impacts on the health of a person such as by declining pulmonary health and causing respiratory issues, therefore, laws should be implemented to make it illegal tp practice.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear stance that smoking should be made illegal due to its health and societal impacts. However, some parts of the task are developed more fully than others. While the health consequences in the second paragraph are reasonably elaborated with an attempt at an example, the societal arguments in the third paragraph shift rather abruptly into discussing illegal drug addiction and robbery, which conflates tobacco smoking with illicit narcotics and makes the argument somewhat tangential and under-developed. To reach a higher band, the ideas would need to maintain a direct focus on tobacco smoking and receive more consistent, thorough support throughout the body paragraphs without logical leaps.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and paragraphs are used to structure the argument. However, cohesion within and between sentences is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition into the third paragraph relies on basic linking words, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in 'which will be discusses in this essay with a logical conclusion'. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression between ideas stumbles slightly when the text moves from physical health to criminal behavior. To improve, the writer needs to employ a wider and more natural range of cohesive devices and ensure that connections between sentences and paragraphs are smoother and more transparent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to discuss a serious topic with appropriate terminology such as 'cardiopulmonary conditions', 'detrimental effects', and 'respiratory issues'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word forms. Examples include 'smoking drastically effects' (where 'affects' is required), 'person addictive to smoking' (instead of 'addicted'), 'effeciently as compare' (spelling and collocation issues), and 'illegal tp practice'. These errors occasionally impede communication or reveal a restricted control over less common lexical items. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range and demonstrate greater precision in word choice and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The text displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. Nevertheless, frequent errors in grammar and punctuation persist. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'smoking have a negative impact' and 'it have detrimental effects', as well as tense and article errors like 'lungs of a smoker works' and 'the ones of the 60-year old'. Additionally, punctuation and sentence boundary issues appear, such as the run-on structure in the opening sentence. These errors require some effort from the reader to interpret, preventing the writing from reaching a higher band where error-free complex sentences would be more common.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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