Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

We're talking about of the causes behind the Smoking can cause serious illness and should be made illegal.

In my perspective, I agree this statement about how the cigarettes are really harmful for people who have been smoking and unsmoked. Nowadays people tend to smoke cigarettes because they think this is cool way and some are taking it as a stress reliever. However, some people who don't smoke are affecting too because of smoke of other people and they called it "Second smoker" this case can cause more harm than the first smoker. That's why, smoking is really harmful for our health can cause serious illness such as tuberculosis, pneumonia. Therefore, people are saying that it should be banned for entire countries. Furthermore, if we stop this problem we can reducing the number of cases of people who have an illness and have a great immune system.

Firstly, i think

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a relevant position—“I agree”—and give reasons connected to the topic, including harm to non-smokers and possible illness. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it does not explain whether smoking should be illegal, or consider why a ban might be justified or problematic. The examples of tuberculosis and pneumonia are named but not explained, and the point about improving immunity is unclear. The response also ends with “Firstly, i think” and does not develop a complete argument. Because the required minimum of 250 words is not met, there is not enough development to support your position. To improve, explain your reasons, give a relevant example, and address the proposed legal ban directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise ideas: you introduce your opinion and use “However,” “That’s why,” and “Furthermore” to connect points. The reader can follow a general movement from smoking’s popularity to its effects and a possible ban. However, the ideas are not arranged into a clear, complete argument, and the response stops after “Firstly, i think,” leaving the final point unfinished. Some links are difficult to follow, particularly the shift from second-hand smoke to the claim that it causes more harm, and then to immunity. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and conclusion, and make each linking phrase show a clear relationship between the ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “stress reliever,” “serious illness,” and “banned,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the meaning difficult to understand. For example, “people who have been smoking and unsmoked” does not clearly distinguish smokers from non-smokers, while “Second smoker” is not the usual term for someone exposed to other people’s smoke. “Smoke of other people” and “stop this problem” are also imprecise. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check collocations; for example, use “second-hand smoke” and “prohibit the sale of tobacco” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, using clauses introduced by “because,” “who,” and “if.” Some basic meaning is understandable, but errors are frequent, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty. For instance, “I agree this statement” is missing a grammatical element, and “we can reducing” uses the wrong verb form after “can.” The sentence beginning “That's why” lacks a clear main clause, while “people who don't smoke are affecting too” has an unclear structure. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “i think.” Practise complete sentence patterns, especially verb forms after modal verbs and clear subject–verb structures, then proofread each sentence for a complete main clause.

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