Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

As we all know that smokinf is very dangerous for all people living in this world and majority of people douing smoking where i am living this time. I am one and hundred percent agree that this should be made illegal and i will elaborate my point of views in the upcoming paragraphs that why i am agree with this.

To begin with the reason is related to health. Our health is playing an important role for our well being. the people are doing smoking are no as healthy despite they are taking a good and healthy diet theie lungs are not woking properly somtimes they have prolems in taking breath. After that, some people have throat problems as i am going to give a real exampkle to you I am a Personal Support Worker during my work time a 75 year old guy can not speak as i was asked him that this problem is from your birth then he wrote no and told me that I was doing a lot of smoking then i had throat problem after this i lost my voice for life time due to smoking.

Moreover, as some are not doing smoking but they become the prey of passive smoking. Most of the people doing smoking on the roads, public places as well in their homes where their family members also becoming the part of passive smoking this is equal to active smoking. For instabce, i was sitting in my car in a public place and i saw a family of three people parked their car next to me and the husband and wife both were doing smoking with their little chile who is around 2-3 years and he staeted coughing due to smoking which is not good at all for a baby's health.

To sum up, due to health reasons i want it should be made illegal as it is not good for all people who are around you and becoming a prey of passive smoking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you fully agree that smoking should be illegal, and you return to this view in the conclusion. You address two relevant reasons—harm to smokers and the effects of passive smoking—and support them with personal examples from your work and a public place. These examples make the response specific and show the task is addressed. The health argument is more fully illustrated, while the case for making smoking illegal is less developed: you explain the harm but do not discuss why prohibition is preferable to measures such as restrictions or education. To strengthen the response further, explain this policy link and develop the consequences of your examples rather than relying mainly on anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “To sum up” help readers follow the main stages. However, some connections are mechanical, and several sentences contain multiple ideas without clear boundaries, particularly the long account of the older man. References such as “this” and “after this” are not always precise, so the reader must infer what they refer to. Use clearer sentence breaks and link each example explicitly to the point it supports. This would make the progression smoother while preserving your effective paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “passive smoking,” “lungs,” “throat problems,” and “illegal.” The personal examples also allow you to express concrete effects. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “doing smoking,” “prey of passive smoking,” and “taking breath.” Spelling errors—including “smokinf,” “exampkle,” and “staeted”—also make the writing less fluent and can distract the reader. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing health and public policy, and check spelling carefully. More accurate collocations would make your argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “despite” and “where,” and your overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, complex sentences are often not controlled successfully, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation recur. For example, “As we all know that” has an unnecessary conjunction, while “the people are doing smoking are no as healthy” lacks a clear grammatical structure. The account beginning “I am a Personal Support Worker” also runs several clauses together, making the sequence difficult to follow. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea, then add subordinate clauses only when their relationships are clear. Review tense consistency and sentence boundaries.

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