Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Smoking causes serious health issues, and the government should ban the use of cigarettes. In contemporary society, Smoking is a highly debated issue. Some people argue that smoking is a personal choice, an official ban on smoking takes away freedom of choice. I strongly believe that a ban on smoking could lead to less consumption.

One main reason is that when cigarettes and vapes are easily accessible, their consumption increases. Many youngsters are getting addicted to these bad habits. Students are more prone to developing this addiction.

I believe that there should be a campaign on social media about the hazards of smoking. Declaring smoking illegal could lead to lesser sales of cigarettes. For instance, in Pakistan, it is illegal to smoke shisha in cafe. This government initiative helps in the controll of smoking.

Another supporting point regarding a ban on smoking could be due to the prevention of oral cancer. Smoking is main component in spread of oral cancer among patients. For instance, 56 percent of oral cancer patients have a history of smoking. Smoking is a causative factor in many cardiac diseases. Smokers are more prone to develop cardiac arrest at a young age. Oral caries are more likely to develop in smokers. Bad breath, teeth discoloration, and oral hygiene problems are related to smoking.

In conclusion, although it is a personal choice for a person to smoke, the government should declare smoking illegal. A ban on sales and penalties for users will help reduce consumption. Overall, the chances of oral cancer will decrease, and oral health will improve.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening and conclusion: you support making smoking illegal, while acknowledging that some view it as a personal choice. You give relevant reasons, including youth access, cancer and cardiac risks, and the example of restrictions on shisha in Pakistan. This meets the task well, and the range of supporting points shows some breadth. However, the argument is not equally developed throughout: the campaign suggestion is introduced but not explained, and the Pakistan example concerns shisha in cafés rather than a general ban on smoking. The claim about oral cancer statistics would also be stronger with context or a clearer link to the proposed law. Develop fewer points more fully and explain how prohibition would address each risk.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion that restates your position. Ideas are generally grouped by topic, and signposts such as “One main reason,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. However, progression within the body is sometimes uneven. The paragraph beginning with a social-media campaign moves quickly to legality and then to the Pakistan example, while the next paragraph lists several health effects without clearly organising their relationship to the central argument. Some linking phrases feel mechanical, and “Another supporting point” does not fully clarify how the new point advances the case. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “highly debated issue,” “personal choice,” “consumption,” “oral cancer,” and “cardiac diseases.” These terms make your position and health-related points clear, and you attempt some more formal phrasing. At times, however, word choice and collocation are imprecise or repetitive: “lesser sales” is less natural than “lower sales,” and “main component in spread of oral cancer” does not express the intended relationship accurately. “Bad habits” is also vague for an academic argument, while “smoking” and “ban” recur frequently. Aim for precise collocations and vary repeated terms, for example by using “tobacco use” where appropriate. Check spelling as well, including “controll.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple sentences and more complex forms, including the concession “although it is a personal choice” and the conditional idea that a ban “could lead to less consumption.” Most sentences communicate their meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “an official ban on smoking takes away freedom of choice” is joined to the preceding clause with a comma, creating a run-on sentence; use a full stop or a conjunction. Articles and sentence structure also need attention in “Smoking is main component in spread of oral cancer,” and “it is illegal to smoke shisha in cafe” needs more accurate article use. There is also an unnecessary capital in “Smoking” mid-sentence. Review clause boundaries, articles, and punctuation while continuing to use varied sentence forms.

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