Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, individuals are very addicted to smoking, drinking alcohol and taking drugs. This habits are very unhealthy for them. Some people think that smoking can cause health problems which are very dangerous to health therefore that should be made illegal. I partially disagree with the statement. In this essay I will discuss a few reasons for my opinion.

On the one hand, making it illegal might generate new unethical activities. To simplify, people might start doing smoking in a shelter. Therefore, it is necessary to provide enough information to people about health hazards and seriousness of disease which it cause. For instance, currently many places where smoking are not allowed such as a temple, restaurant, hospital and school. However, still people do not follow this rule and sometime do smoking.

On the other hand, Firstly, there might be a chance that people start avoiding to smoking. In simple words, by making it an illegal retailer shops are stop selling cigarettes, therefore it directly reduce a number of people who do smoking. Secondly, it also increases the lifespan of people as it reduces the health problems which caused by smoking such as TB, cancer and a lung problems. For example, if it is illegal then new generation might do not know about smoking and it is good for them.

In conclusion, the one point where I disagree is that people start doing unethical activities by breaking the rule. Although, retailers stop selling products as it is illegal and new generation do not aware about such products as they do not show it in market are the agreement points for my opinion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is stated as “I partially disagree,” and the essay considers both the possible drawbacks of prohibition and its potential benefits. The points about people breaking rules and retailers no longer selling cigarettes are relevant to the question, and the examples of smoking restrictions help illustrate your discussion. However, the extent of your agreement remains somewhat unclear: the conclusion calls the benefits “the agreement points” but does not explain how they balance against your disagreement. Some ideas also need fuller explanation, particularly how prohibition would prevent young people from learning about smoking or reduce illness. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation and a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the broad direction easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the second body paragraph begins “On the other hand, Firstly,” which combines two transitions awkwardly. The relationship between ideas is not always clear: the shelter example, for instance, is not fully connected to the claim that prohibition could encourage unethical activity. The conclusion also repeats earlier points without resolving the position. Use fewer formulaic signposts and make each sentence’s connection to the paragraph’s main claim explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “health hazards,” “illegal,” “retailers,” and “lifespan,” so the reader can understand the main subject and arguments. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as “unethical activities.” However, the range and control of vocabulary are limited, and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural or obscure meaning. For example, “doing smoking in a shelter,” “a lung problems,” and “the agreement points” do not express the intended ideas clearly. Repetition of “people,” “smoking,” and “illegal” also limits flexibility. Build a bank of natural collocations for discussing laws, enforcement, health effects, and prevention, and check that each phrase conveys your intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “if it is illegal then new generation might do not know about smoking” and a reason clause beginning “as it reduces the health problems.” This shows some range, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction recur and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “This habits,” “places where smoking are not allowed,” “retailer shops are stop selling,” and “people start avoiding to smoking.” The final sentence is also difficult to follow because its clauses are not joined clearly. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and revise longer sentences into clear clauses with one main idea each.

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