Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The usage of intoxicated products has been increased significantly. Nowadays, smoking has become a major concern among youngsters, as it is highly dangerours that can affect individuals both physically and mentally. Thus, it is widely believe that it should be banned and made illegal. Personally, I completely agree with this notion as it could be harmful for our upcoming generation.

One of the major reasons is that smoking is directly connected with human's breathing system. It can creates serious health issues related to lungs. This is because, while smoking some particles of cigrettes enter directly in lungs that is extremely dangerours for them. For example, in a report it has been said that a person who smoke constantly is more likely to get effected by cancer as compared to non- smokers. Thus, It creates a need for a system that can examine and control businesses of smoking products.

Another key important cause is that it can adversly affect youngsters. It has been seen that mostly young people use vapes and other smoking products while they are in schools. That can directly affect their brains and entire body. I addition, It will become difficult for them to concentrate on their studies. That can ultimatetly change their mindset, and they can be forced by other peers to give a try to other drugs to.Therefore, governments shoud be involved to make it a illegal product that can reduce its usage.

In conclusion, smoking can creates numerous health concerns. It can affect an individual not only physically, but also mentally that can reduce thinking power. Thus, It should be made illegal by the authorities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: “I completely agree,” and the conclusion consistently supports making smoking illegal. You give relevant reasons, including lung disease and the possible effects on young people’s health, concentration, and choices. The example about cancer also supports the health argument. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: the claim that peers may lead young people to try other drugs, for instance, needs clearer reasoning or a specific example. The discussion also focuses mainly on health effects and gives little consideration to how a ban could work or why prohibition is preferable to regulation. The response addresses the task, but developing these points more fully would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Signposting such as “One of the major reasons,” “Another key important cause,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. The progression within paragraphs is generally understandable, moving from a claim to an explanation or example. However, some links feel mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Thus” and “That can,” and the relationship between the claim about school vaping and the risk of trying other drugs could be made clearer. Use pronouns with precise references and vary transitions by showing whether a sentence explains, illustrates, or draws a consequence from the previous point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “serious health issues,” “concentrate on their studies,” and “made illegal.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts less natural or harder to understand. For example, “usage of intoxicated products” does not clearly express the intended idea, while “highly dangerours” and “adversly” are misspelled. Phrases such as “human’s breathing system” and “businesses of smoking products” are also awkward. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “respiratory system,” “tobacco products,” and “regulate the sale of cigarettes.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise topic vocabulary would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “This is because” and a contrast structure in the conclusion. However, errors occur frequently, and some complex sentences are not controlled accurately. Examples include “smoking has become … as it is,” where the reference is unclear, “It can creates,” and “a person who smoke,” which show problems with verb forms and agreement. There are also article and sentence-boundary issues, as in “make it a illegal product” and “to other drugs to.Therefore.” These errors sometimes interrupt the reader’s understanding. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, verb forms after modal verbs, articles, and punctuation, while keeping longer sentences straightforward until you can control them reliably.

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