Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Animals are an important part of the ecosystem. Some people argue that animals should not be captivated in closed areas. I partially agree with this statement because they are safe in protected places, and zoos offers employment oppurtunities for local residents.

To begin with, animals are protected from predators and humans in zoos. In other words, in forests, small animals, such as deers, sheep and other species, are victimed by lions, tigers and lapord. Besides, individuals hunt for their food or selling purposes. As a result, this behaviour can disturb natural system. For example, in Gujarat, endangered species are saved because of this kind of place. Moreover, this facility provides jobs for people because these kinds of areas need a larger number of workers for maintenance, including cleaners, security, vetenary doctors and supervisors. Consequently, this can contribute to the economy, paying taxes to governmnents based on their income. They can meet their basic needs as well. Therefore, zoos are beneficial not only for animals but also for society.

Nevertheless, captivity can restrict animals' freedom because they are used to living in natural environment, where they can freely move and enjoy their lives without any restrictions. This type of freedom is impossible in protected areas. For this reason, it may have a negative impact in their health. To illustrate, animals who are kept in zoos have more health-related problems than who are jungles based on surveys.

In conclusion, although natural habitats offer freedom, I believe that animals should be placed in protected areas in order to live in safe areas and give jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you partially agree that zoos should remain, and you address both animal protection and the loss of freedom in captivity. The examples of hunting and endangered species in Gujarat help make the protection argument relevant. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the benefits receive more explanation, while the concern about animals’ health is supported only by a vague reference to surveys, with no detail or example. The employment point is relevant but could be linked more directly to why zoos should not be closed. To strengthen the response, explain how well-managed zoos protect species and give a specific, credible example, then clarify what conditions would reduce the harm of captivity.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting zoos, a contrasting paragraph about freedom, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “Nevertheless,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and the contrast between safety and freedom is relevant. This already gives the essay a coherent arrangement. Some connections, however, feel mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Therefore” and “As a result,” and the first body paragraph moves from animal protection to employment and taxation without a sufficiently smooth transition. The reference in “this kind of place” is also not fully precise. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each supporting point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “ecosystem,” “predators,” “endangered species,” “captivity,” and “maintenance.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning is generally understandable. However, several inaccurate word choices, word forms, and spelling errors reduce precision: “captivated” does not mean kept in captivity, “victimed” is not the correct form, and “lapord,” “oppurtunities,” and “vetenary” are misspelled. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “jungles based” and “for their food or selling purposes.” Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe animals as “kept in captivity” and people as “hunting animals for food or trade.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “although,” and “where,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors are noticeable, particularly with agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction. For example, “zoos offers” should have a plural verb, while “in natural environment” needs an article or plural form. The comparison in “more health-related problems than who are jungles based” is not grammatically complete, and “individuals hunt for their food or selling purposes” mixes verb forms. Review subject–verb agreement and make comparisons parallel and complete. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control without sacrificing the range you are attempting.

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