Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Wild life is a important part of nature.In futcher no need zoos and it is closed I stroungly disagree the abov mentend statement for which vinidication it would be elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs.

To stars with, there are many reasons associated with it.The first and foremost is zoos is important for save animal species .For example, zoos care very careful about animals caretaking.Additionally it is a good sorces of interduce more species animals.as well as there are good adomspare for individules relaxe own mind. Fourthermore, it is a good places for picnik people come thare are wihh familyes and there are childerans see more animals because without zoos it is difficault.

On the other hand , people bussie in own life taskes so nowdays individules visit very rare .As well as kids use mobile phones for play games and waitching videos

Inconclusion after taking all aspactes into the considration. I would like the

emphasize that,zoos are important part own socaity it is good place for visiting for watiching wildlife to near but in futcher people intrest less than according to prasent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear disagreement in the opening and return to the view that zoos are important in the conclusion. Your relevant points include protecting animal species, giving people a chance to see wildlife, and providing a place for family visits. However, these ideas are mostly asserted rather than explained: for instance, you do not show how zoos protect endangered species or give a specific example. The point that people visit less often and children use phones is not clearly connected to whether zoos should close. The response also contains 182 words, below the required 250, so the task is only partially addressed. Develop two or three relevant reasons with explanation and examples, and make the link to your position explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a main paragraph, a contrasting point and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To stars with,” “Additionally,” “On the other hand” and “Inconclusion” show an effort to guide the reader. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into one paragraph, and the contrast about people’s busy lives and children using phones is not clearly related to the argument. Some links are also used mechanically or do not express the intended relationship. Use separate paragraphs for each main reason, arrange ideas in a clear order, and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “animal species,” “caretaking,” “wildlife” and “visiting,” so the general subject is identifiable. However, the range is basic and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response hard to understand, such as “futcher,” “sorces,” “adomspare” and “prasent.” Phrases such as “good places for picnik” and “save animal species” also show limited control of natural collocations. Aim to learn accurate topic phrases and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions—for example, describing zoos as supporting conservation or educating visitors—would help you explain your ideas clearly without relying on repeated general words such as “good” and “important.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including “I strongly disagree … for which … it would be elaborated,” but sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to follow. Errors with articles, agreement and verb forms occur throughout: “a important part,” “zoos is important,” and “people … visit very rare” are examples. Punctuation and spacing also make sentence boundaries unclear, as in “nature.In futcher” and “Inconclusion after taking…”. These problems sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clear clauses using “because” or “which.” Check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation when editing.

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