Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-07-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The Zoos should be closed, as the animals in zoos are no longer needed. I partially agree with this notion because it enables the people to see the real animals and save them from endangered. However, letting them stay in the confined space affects their growth and loneliness.
On the one hand, the zoos enable the people to view and know about various animal species. Moreover, the care given to them in the zoos are very helpful in saving them from getting endangered, so that we can pass them to our coming generation, The zoos are the only convenient place for the individuals to see them. For instance, the care of the Gorillas in the zoos help us to save them from getting invisible. Therefore, the zoos need not to be closed, because this is the second shelter away from their natural vegetation for them that provide care and support.
On the other hand, keeping them behind the bars made them feel under pressure. They are always packed in the confined space that will make them feel unsecure and loss of freedom. Additionally, they are guided by the trainers when to eat , sleep and for other activities which take their freedom away. For example, the animals are getting shocked and injected with drugs to keep them calm. This way of treating the animals are not a good practice so, they are better in the forest with their families.
To conclude, the zoos protect the animals from endangered and provide better care
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout, acknowledging both sides before concluding. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding 'saving them from endangered' is repetitive and lacks specific, well-explained examples. The mention of 'Gorillas' is a good attempt at providing an example, but the explanation of how zoos prevent them from 'getting invisible' is unclear. To improve, you should focus on expanding your points with more logical reasoning and clearer real-world evidence. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'Additionally' are used to signal shifts in the argument. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical issues. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'them' in the second paragraph, which could refer to either the animals or the people. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would enhance the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations. Phrases like 'save them from endangered' (should be 'save them from extinction') and 'getting invisible' (should be 'becoming extinct') indicate a limited range of vocabulary for expressing complex ideas. While you attempt to use topic-specific language, the errors occasionally impede the clarity of your points. To reach a higher band, focus on learning accurate collocations and using more precise terminology related to animal welfare and conservation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the care given to them in the zoos are', 'the animals are getting shocked'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing ('the zoos need not to be closed'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and spacing before punctuation marks. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and sentence structure will help improve your score.
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