Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
It has been observed that society must require to have animals kept in wildlife park for long time so such places should be locked. If questioned I strongly agree with this statement. My inclination is justified in the ensuing paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate examples.
the first argument put forward for my stance is that freedom is a basic right of every creature of God. No one has authority to store any life. Animals enjoy their life through roaming freely in the large space like forest or desert which is called their residence, the zoo does not offers animals such comfort or space for wandering. moreover, in the zoo animals treating as entertainment tool. They just become toy of human children. The motive of such organisation is only profit or earning. Animals are abused by visitors. Many children make Animal irritated for enjoyment purpose. Consequently Animals feel powerless and their growth become slow. they luse their interest in life.
Furthermore, for well-mintainnig the ecological balance Animals can be more safe. Animals play fundamental role to maintain ecology. As per observation some special species of animals are an endangered so it is crucial to provid Animals more favorable environment and comfortable place to live; moreover, some species are always live in group for instance elephants so it is umfuir to keep them in cage.
To sum up, I completely agree with that community no longer need to store animals in the zoos so the zoos should be prohibited because it affects the ecological balance adversely; moreover, freedom is basic right of every creature so keep Animals in particular place is not fair decision.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of closing zoos. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention animal rights and ecological balance, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about ecological balance is not fully explained; you mention that animals play a fundamental role but do not clearly link how closing zoos specifically aids this beyond stating they should be in their natural habitat. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a clear, well-supported argument with specific examples rather than general statements. The conclusion effectively restates your position, but the overall development remains at a basic level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'moreover', 'consequently', and 'to sum up' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as the repetitive use of 'moreover' to start sentences. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the logical flow within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing animal abuse to ecological balance is quite sudden. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows logically from the previous one will help elevate your score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your opinions clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'ecological balance' and 'endangered'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'well-mintainnig' (well-maintaining), 'store any life', and 'make Animal irritated'. There are also some spelling errors like 'luse' (lose) and 'umfuir' (unfair). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms. Expanding your range of synonyms and practicing collocations will help you convey your ideas with greater sophistication and accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the zoo does not offers'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'animals treating as'), and missing articles or incorrect pluralization (e.g., 'some special species of animals are an endangered'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and article usage before moving on to more complex structures.
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