Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true that there is no animals in zoos, so zoos should be closed. some people concur that zoos remain opened. I quibble from them and propound that zoos don't have animals so zoos should be shut down.

Adequate evidences are obtainable to substantiate that zoos should be closed. The top notch concrete reason is due to rainy weather and heavy flood in the area of zoo, animals in zoos can suffer. So, due to this circumstances zoos should be shut down in this season. Another rationale which hauls me to patron is lack of food in zoo mostly animals dead due to hunger. The rearmost concrete factor is that due to corona virus people are stuck at home and due to virus they are not going to zoo. so the zoos should be closed. To uphold my notion I would quote an example that people are suffering from corona virus and they believe that this virus is spread by the animals. In result government take a step and zoos would be closed.

What is half full for some, may appear half empty to others. So the public in general tend to be distinguish that zoos are a picnic spot for children so the zoos keep open.

To commence with some people believe that we should improve the environment of the zoos then the people go to zoo on every holidays. For instance, if the government improve the area of the zoo and provide the best facilities in zoos, then the zoos become the best picnic spot.

In recapitulation, I reiterate that the are innumerable strong factors supporting due to corona virus we do not want to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

However, it's contrary should be controlled and overlooked. In conclusion I strongly agree to the given statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt but struggles with clarity and logical consistency. While you take a clear position, your arguments are often confusing or irrelevant. For example, citing 'rainy weather and heavy flood' as a primary reason to close zoos is not a standard or logical argument for the abolition of zoos. Furthermore, the reliance on the COVID-19 pandemic as a central argument is dated and lacks a strong connection to the ethical debate regarding animal captivity. The ideas are under-developed and lack the necessary depth to fully explore the topic. To improve, focus on providing more relevant, universally applicable arguments such as animal welfare, conservation ethics, or educational value.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions are often misused or unnatural, such as 'The rearmost concrete factor' or 'What is half full for some, may appear half empty to others,' which does not effectively introduce a counter-argument. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inappropriate for the context, making the flow of ideas disjointed. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the relationship between sentences is frequently difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary range is limited and often used incorrectly. You frequently use words that do not fit the context, such as 'concurrent world' instead of 'contemporary world,' 'quibble' instead of 'disagree,' and 'hauls me to patron.' These errors indicate a lack of awareness of collocation and register. While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the inaccuracies often impede the reader's understanding. To reach a higher band, focus on learning the correct collocations and using words that you are certain are appropriate for an academic or formal essay context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that affect clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('animals dead due to hunger'), incorrect article usage ('no animals in zoos'), and awkward sentence structures ('In result government take a step'). While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors before finalizing your work. Reducing the complexity of your sentences until you have better control over basic grammar would be a beneficial strategy.

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