Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Undoubtedly, the modern world has undergone a significant transformation, with zoos are center of this change. It is obvious that some species which cannot be found anywhere else are kept safe in zoos. Despite the given fact some people believe that zoos should be shut down as animals are not required to have in them anymore. I completely disaccord with this notion. This essay will initially discuss a possible reason why some people support to not have a zoo. After that, it will discuss the significant requirement to a zoo in a modern.

Commencing with the most prominent reason why certain individuals are not in the favour of having a respected area for animal, they might think the freedom should be the right for animals as well, which is ultimately an undeniable fact that cannot be ignored. For example, in one case a bird which was freed from a cage, and saw the freedom for the first time was actually forgot how to fly, and was unable to enjoy that moment. Hence, it is clear that zoos are taking their freedom away from them.

However, on the other side, there is one salient advantage of having a zoo is that it protects the endangered species. Modern zoos are doing really good in order to protect the rare species from almost all possible treats to them provided that they receive public funding regularly. In addition, another worth considering benefit of building zoos is giving a chance to the posterity which have never seen the wild animals in their real life.

Overall, I personally believe that if animals are kept in care with proper treatment, it actually help us the preserve the nature and especially animals.

To conclude, despite the fact that keeping the animals and birds in zoos may take their freedom temporarily, but in reality, it is not only helping them to protect from possible dangers for them, but also giving people an opportunity to witness the ultimate creations of god. It is required from governments to take accountability coupled with allocation of enough funds for the zoos

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position against closing zoos. The ideas are relevant, such as the protection of endangered species and the educational value for the public. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example regarding the bird is slightly confusing and does not fully support the argument about animal freedom. While the position is consistent, the essay would benefit from more detailed explanations and more sophisticated supporting evidence to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but the overall development remains somewhat superficial.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Commencing with', 'However', and 'In addition' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced, such as 'the significant requirement to a zoo in a modern'. Additionally, there are some issues with referencing and sentence-level flow, particularly in the introduction and the second paragraph. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the use of cohesive devices could be more natural and varied to improve the overall flow of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinions clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'posterity', 'undeniable', and 'accountability'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'disaccord with this notion' (disagree), 'not in the favour of' (not in favour of), and 'treats to them' (threats). These errors do not impede communication, but they do highlight a lack of precision. To improve, the student should focus on learning common collocations and refining their use of academic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'zoos are center of this change' (zoos are the center), 'animals are not required to have in them' (animals are not required to be in them), and 'it actually help us the preserve' (it actually helps us to preserve). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with article usage and verb agreement throughout the text. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.

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