Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often argued that keeping animals in zoos has no requirement and should be closed. I entirely disagree with this view because if the animal walks freely on road would be harmful for human life and can be attacked by children.

One significant reason is that human life will be extinction. This is because species who live in jungle usually search for food on daily basis by hunting another animal. If they surround without restrictions imposed on them possibilities to be attacked on humans. For example, pupils are free birds and can move from one place to another on their will without harming any individual or animal, that does not apply to the animal though. As a result, the people would have to sacrifice their life or get attacked by dangerous insects. As there would not only be any training provided for animals to act in certain manner but also to respect and honor other livelihoods.

Another important factor is that the toddlers who are unequipped with gadgets will also get frightened easily. This is because neither the child runs on their own, nor screams for assistance. This situation could make parents frightened all the time because of safety measures and are inevitable. For instance, if a child in a park saw a snake probably, he would like to play because of unawareness of danger situation he will approach and get bite by the snake which may be a result of killed or hospitalized. Consequently, they always need assistance from parents.

In conclusion, I disagree with this view because, the adults who offers safety for their society and other living beings, however it is not expected from dangerous animals as and toddlers’ safety is the most primitive concern.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response takes a clear position against closing zoos, supporting it with the argument that animals roaming freely would pose a significant danger to humans, particularly children. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times confusing or tangential. For instance, the discussion moves from general human extinction risks to specific concerns about toddlers encountering dangerous insects or snakes in parks. While the prompt asks for reasons regarding whether zoos are necessary, the arguments rely heavily on extreme scenarios rather than well-rounded conservation or educational points. According to the Band 5 descriptors, the response addresses the task, but ideas are under-developed and the position, while clear in intent, suffers from weak elaboration and tangential examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing basic paragraphing. However, the logical progression within and between paragraphs is heavily disrupted by awkward phrasing, unclear referencing, and faulty cohesive devices. For example, transitional phrases like 'This is because' and 'As a result' are used incorrectly or introduce points that do not logically follow from the preceding sentence. The phrase 'pupils are free birds' appears out of nowhere and breaks the cohesion entirely. Referencing words such as 'they' and 'this' are frequently ambiguous, leaving the reader confused about whether the pronoun refers to animals, humans, or children. Overall, the cohesive framework is inadequate and mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and often unnatural. The writer relies heavily on simple terms and makes frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'animals walk freely on road', 'human life will be extinction', and 'get bite by the snake which may be a result of killed or hospitalized'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary result in severe inaccuracies that obscure meaning. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the overall lexical range is strictly limited and minimally adequate for communication, aligning closely with Band 4 descriptors where vocabulary choices strain the reader's understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, featuring a high frequency of major errors. There is a very limited range of structures, and complex sentences are almost uniformly faulty. Examples of persistent errors include missing subjects ('if the animal walks freely... would be harmful'), incorrect prepositions ('attacked by children' instead of 'attack children'), tense inconsistencies, and fragments ('as and toddlers’ safety is the most primitive concern'). These errors frequently impede communication and cause difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 4 descriptor where errors are frequent and often distort meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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