Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, people supporting that animals should not be kept in zoos and therefore, zoos should be closed is one of the controversial statement. Zoos can affect animals mental as well as physical health. While, closing zoos can upset kids. Moreover, I believe zoos has always been a mode of entertainment for us but amimals in it suffer greatly with restriction of their freedom.

First and foremost, wildlifes being kept in an artifical enclosures can restrict their natural behaviours. Moreover, mammals like lion, tiger and elephants like to roam around in their natural enviroment. Hunting for preys is a part of their life and keeping in concreate cells can cause some phycological discorders. This can ruin the offsprings and will put whole specie on stake.

On the other hand, zoos have always been a great mode for wildlife education for the teenages. Secondly, kids love visiting zoos on holidays. Therefore, closing down the zoos can affect the children. But, 3D wildlife documentation can be a good alternative for those who like to visit zoos and a trip on weekend to zoo can be replaced to botonical gardern.

Subsequently, no matter how much zoos tries to resamble the natural habitat it is not comparable. Likewise, there are studies done on the behaviour of animals kept in zoos, it is observed that animals were being irritated and self harming was caused. Also, behaviour like pacing, scraching and mocking was seen amongst them.

In the conclusion, I strongly agree to the fact that zoos have always been an entertainment mode for humans but on a humanely ground zoos should be closed as it is not pleasurable for the other living being to be in capitative.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that zoos should close, and you address both animal welfare and the counterpoint that zoos educate and entertain children. The discussion of restricted movement, hunting, and stress-related behaviours is relevant, while acknowledging alternatives such as wildlife documentaries shows some consideration of the opposing view. This meets the task well overall. However, several points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that confinement “will ruin the offsprings” and put a species “on stake” is unclear and unsupported. The education point could also be weighed more directly against the welfare argument. To strengthen the response further, explain the evidence or reasoning behind key claims and develop how alternatives can replace zoos’ educational role.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, moving from an introduction to arguments about animal welfare, a counterargument, further support, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and the final paragraph returns to your position. However, progression is not consistently smooth. The paragraph beginning “On the other hand” combines education, children’s enjoyment, documentaries, and botanical gardens without clearly connecting the last two alternatives to the main point. Linking phrases such as “Moreover,” “Secondly,” and “Subsequently” sometimes feel mechanical or do not show the precise relationship between ideas. Some references are also unclear, such as “This can ruin the offsprings.” Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each paragraph develop one central point, with clear links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “natural behaviours,” “natural habitat,” “wildlife education,” and “self harming,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also efforts to use less common terms, but inaccurate word choice, spelling, and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make ideas difficult to interpret. Examples include “wildlifes,” “artifical enclosures,” “concreate cells,” “phycological discorders,” and “capitative.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “a great mode for wildlife education” and “on a humanely ground.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording: for instance, use “a valuable source of wildlife education” and “on humane grounds.” Proofreading spelling and checking singular/plural forms would make your meaning more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and attempts at more complex structures, including “While, closing zoos can upset kids” and “no matter how much zoos tries to resamble the natural habitat it is not comparable.” This shows some range, but control is uneven. Agreement errors occur in “zoos has always been” and “zoos tries,” while the opening sentence lacks a clear grammatical structure: “people supporting that animals should not be kept in zoos … is one of the controversial statement.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “lion, tiger and elephants” and the comma after “While.” These errors do not prevent the overall argument from being understood, but they reduce accuracy. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and building complete, clearly punctuated complex sentences.

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