Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The submissive behaviour to unexpected bad outcomes has become a highly debated phenomenon in contemporary societies ,with divergence of opinions regarding whether it is beneficial or detrimental.While a large proportion of individuals contend it as detrimental and has shown a marked preference for striving against the conditions to acquire outcomes of their own choices,others oppose this notion and they have shown resignation as an escape .As far as my perspective is concerned, I firmly believe that humans have struggling intrinsic behaviour and they should put their maximum efforts to avail their goals rather than showing acquiescense.This essay will critically examine both of the existing perspectives regarding this situation.

To begin with ,the advocates of submissive behaviour believe that every blessing that humans acquire throughout their life is pre-written,hence this strong faith regarding pre-decided destiny and fortune compels them to accept situations.One of the most compelling reasons underoinning this viewpoint are religious norms .A lot of religious preachers promote the acceptance behaviour and provoke individuals to surrender to the bad situations.They foster that surrendering to the bad aspects of life will enable them to gain that lost blessings in the heaven.

The opponent of this notion argue that people can obtain everything by their struggles. Thet believe that bad fortune can be transformed into good luck by hard work and committed behaviour . They argue that human should struugle to obtain optimal of their yields rather than blindly following religious norms.

To conclude, I firmly belive people can acquire everything by their consistency and hard work .They should implement planned and organized efforts to gain their goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion: people should work consistently to improve their circumstances. You also identify both views, linking acceptance to religious belief and improvement to hard work. However, the discussion is uneven and only partly developed. The acceptance paragraph focuses narrowly on destiny and religious teaching, without considering practical reasons someone might accept a difficult job or financial situation. The opposing view is stated briefly, but claims such as “people can obtain everything by their struggles” are not explained or supported with a relevant example. Develop each side with specific reasons and examples, and make your position more directly responsive to the situations in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the argument, and transitions such as “To begin with” and “To conclude” signal stages clearly. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: the first body paragraph moves from destiny to religious preachers and heaven without explaining the connection in depth, while the second view is compressed into a few assertions. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “this notion” and “this situation” are not always precise. Build each paragraph around one main point, explain it, and then connect it explicitly to the task or an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and attempt less common expressions, including “submissive behaviour,” “resignation,” “intrinsic behaviour,” and “committed behaviour.” These choices show ambition, but several are inaccurate or unnatural in context, which reduces precision; for example, “striving against the conditions” and “acquire outcomes of their own choices” are awkward ways to describe improving circumstances. There are also spelling errors, including “acquiescense,” “underoinning,” “Thet,” “struugle,” and “belive.” Prefer clear, natural collocations over elevated wording, and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “accept a difficult situation,” “make an effort to improve it,” and “financial hardship” would suit this topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including complex sentences with “while,” “hence,” and “rather than,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some sentence structures and agreement patterns are inaccurate. For example, “a large proportion of individuals contend it as detrimental and has shown” has an unclear pronoun reference and mismatched subject–verb structure; “One of the most compelling reasons … are” also has faulty agreement. Punctuation and spacing around commas are inconsistent, and some long sentences are difficult to process. Aim for clearer clause boundaries and check that each verb agrees with its subject. Shorter, accurately controlled sentences alongside complex ones would improve readability.

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