Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Few individuals believe that it is beneficial to accept a harmful situation, such as unsatisfactory work or decreasing of money. Others argue that it is best to attempt and enhance such situations. Firstly, most individuals and it involve many other people thought that it is unfortunate and facing this badly situationand simply accept it .this people not think to improve these situations and not any confident to think about the next work or job. They have been working for many years, and the bosses in the office and the owners of buildings do not support them or help the poor people they work for in the office and buildings. The building owners do not show mercy to the people, and many other individuals are involved. The people and the workers are not happy and are deeply immersed in stressed and not to try reject this job, because it is not the second-best way to get the job. For instance, the government provided facilities for poor people, although they work gradual and quietly and successfully in the bad situations to face it firstly. On the other hand, the best way of this situation is that they thought on improving work. After that, it provides motivation, confidence, and many hard-working statements if they are deeply immersed in it to improve their work skills, and they start their work with encouragement and are successful in the bad situations they will face. For instance, the government has a responsibility to introduce these steps and improve them when individuals take them and succeed in such situations. People work easily and happily on other work; they solve it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both views: the first part describes people who remain in unsatisfactory work or financial circumstances, while the later section argues that people should improve their work and skills. However, the discussion is only minimally developed and your own position is not stated clearly. For example, the claim that people accept a job because it is “not the second-best way to get the job” is difficult to interpret, and the government examples do not explain how either response helps. To strengthen the response, state your opinion directly and support each view with a clear, relevant reason and a specific example. Make sure each paragraph develops one main point rather than adding loosely connected claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response by presenting one view and then introducing the other with “On the other hand.” This gives the reader some indication of the intended structure. However, ideas are not arranged coherently overall: the opening moves quickly into several unclear claims, and the discussion shifts among workers, building owners, government facilities, and motivation without showing how these points connect. Some linking phrases, such as “After that” and “For instance,” do not establish a clear relationship between the sentences that follow. Use separate paragraphs for the two views and your opinion, and begin each with a clear topic sentence. Then connect each example explicitly to the point it is meant to support.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “unsatisfactory,” “motivation,” “confidence,” and “improve their work skills.” These choices show an effort to discuss employment and personal circumstances rather than relying only on very basic words. However, much of the wording is repetitive or inaccurately combined, which sometimes makes the meaning hard to follow. Phrases such as “decreasing of money,” “deeply immersed in stressed,” and “hard-working statements” are not natural ways to express the intended ideas. Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check how words commonly combine. For example, you could describe financial hardship, feeling stressed, or developing professional skills, and use these expressions consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You make some attempts to form longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “although” and “because,” and you use present and past forms. However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. For example, “Firstly, most individuals and it involve many other people thought” has an unclear subject and verb, while “this people not think” lacks correct agreement and auxiliary structure. Punctuation and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “situationand simply accept it .this people.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, verb forms, and capitalisation at the start of each sentence.

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