Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In recent years, its been a big source of concern on how individuals should either

accept bad situation such as shortage of money or fight baring mind that the future may yield better results. I will best illucidates my opinion in the following explaining in details i am for those who belief that by tyring your best you can improve very bad situation in life.

In these days this are becoming harder and unfortunately the govement is doing nothing to ameliorate this drastique situations. Leaving in a country where you have lost every oppotinuties and to that lossing also hope is a total mess and can even conduct to suiccedal temptation.Dont we usually say as far as we live there is always hope]]].

It is true that accepting a bad condition reduces stress and will live people in thier confort zone because they content on what they have, it is quiet impossible to construct a civilistion with that mind set. For instance if china had that mentality and contented itself with thier diffucult situation i dont think they will be the greatest industral power by now.

So in conclusion even if many people prefered to stay in thier comfort wone to reduce stress, i firmly believe that facing challenges and fighting for a better tommorrow will not only help us but a

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear preference for trying to improve difficult circumstances, and you briefly recognise the opposing view by saying acceptance can reduce stress and keep people in their “comfort zone.” However, the discussion is only partial: the reasons for accepting a bad situation are not explored, and your argument for change is asserted more than explained. The China example gestures towards economic progress but does not show how individuals’ efforts improve their own circumstances. The response also ends mid-sentence (“will not only help us but a”), leaving your conclusion incomplete. The required minimum of 250 words is not met, which further limits how fully you can develop both views. Explain each position with a specific reason and example, then complete your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the issue, a later paragraph considers acceptance, and “So in conclusion” signals a final position. Some links, such as “For instance” and “It is true that,” help readers follow the intended argument. However, the progression is difficult to track because the first body paragraph shifts from government action to lost opportunities and suicide without a clear connection to the question. The response has little development between its points, and the final sentence is unfinished, disrupting the ending. Use separate, clearly focused paragraphs for each view, connect each example directly to its claim, and finish with a complete conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “shortage of money,” “comfort zone,” “ameliorate,” and “facing challenges.” These choices show an effort to discuss hardship and improvement rather than relying entirely on very basic wording. However, spelling and word-choice errors are frequent and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to understand, as in “baring mind,” “illucidates,” “drastique situations,” and “civilistion.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “a big source of concern on how” and “conduct to suiccedal temptation.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, “keep in mind,” “severe circumstances,” and “lead to suicidal thoughts” would express your intended meanings more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if China had that mentality” and a contrast introduced by “even if.” However, control is weak across the response, and frequent errors can make sentences hard to follow. Examples include “its been” without an apostrophe, “this are becoming harder,” “people … content on what they have,” and “I will best illucidates my opinion.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable: the question “Dont we usually say…” runs into the surrounding text, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and complete sentence construction. Proofread each sentence to ensure it has a clear subject and a correctly formed verb.

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