Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In todays rapidly evolving world the issue to accept bad situation has sparked a condiderable debate, with opnions divided on wheather it is benifical or harmful. While both sides of the essay hold merit, I strongly inclined to agree with the view that it is best to accept a bad situation, such a an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money,and other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. This essay will present compelling the reasons and real world examples in the support of my perspective.

To begin with, some critics argue that it is best to accept the situation such as unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money because of less education. For instance, many individuals donot pay heed to their studies, As a result they donont get a satisfactory job because of their careless behaviour. In addition, the other reason is unemployment. For example, many unemloyed people need jobs so they can work in thoses companies which has a shortage of money.

On the other hand, some people claim that it is better to try and improve such situations through hardwork. For instance, many individuals workhard to improve their abilites so people can better their selves. Furthermore, the other reason is to start their own buisness and improve such situations.

In conclusion, through both views has their own reasons but, In my personal perspective, people should improve such bad situations with technology. However, technology improve and help in bad situations and government should also help in such circumstances.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both views and state a preference for accepting a bad situation in the introduction, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the position becomes unclear: the conclusion says people should improve bad situations, which conflicts with your opening opinion. The supporting points are also limited or difficult to follow. For example, the link between unemployment and working for companies “which has a shortage of money” is not explained, and the argument for acceptance is not developed with a clear example. The response also contains 222 words, below the required 250; the 31 words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop each view with a relevant explanation and example, and maintain one consistent opinion throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal these sections. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and some links between ideas do not make sense, particularly the move from unemployment to companies having a shortage of money. The conclusion also contradicts the position in the introduction, weakening the overall progression. Linking phrases such as “In addition” and “Furthermore” are used, but they do not always connect fully explained points. Organise each body paragraph around one clear claim, explain its connection to the question, and use consistent referencing and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “unsatisfactory job,” “shortage of money,” “unemployment,” and “improve.” However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the writing less clear, such as “condiderable,” “opnions,” “wheather,” and “unemloyed.” Some word combinations are also unnatural or imprecise, including “better their selves” and “improve such situations with technology.” Repetition of “situation” and “improve” further limits variety. Aim for accurate, natural phrases that express the intended meaning, and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “financial hardship” or “develop their skills” would help you explain the ideas without relying on repeated general words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including a subordinate clause beginning “because” and a contrast introduced by “While.” Some sentence meanings remain understandable, but errors are frequent and several structures are faulty. For example, “I strongly inclined” is missing an auxiliary verb, while “many individuals donot pay heed … As a result they donont get” has incorrect verb forms and punctuation. In “both views has their own reasons,” the subject and verb do not agree, and “government should also help” needs an article or plural form. Sentence boundaries and commas are also inconsistent. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete sentence structures before adding more complex clauses.

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