Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

IN modren times, majority of people lives in backward houses and do hard works for their faimly and other expences furthermore, these guys are very responsible and creative.But in most of places like in rural areas in which educated and well eatablished people are found but due poor limited industrial work and poor economy of country they feel helpless, accept lowest salaries or faces all problems in their life.Morever they never fell umcomfortable with their poor salaries and aslo suffering from poor and bad condition. Thus, they are addicted with these such things and don't make violent on that.Despit, this these people do not fulfill their child's need and make them shut up in matter due to strees and anxiety as well as ,they have no leisure time to spends with their family members.On the other hand's like in rural areas they knew about their right's and do better jobs as compared to urban's people they think that we should not lives under bad conditions they struggle for their better future and also for their family members.Morever,they involved in those activities that's are more favorable or more financial for them. If they stuck in every situations they don't feel nervous and faces every situation with bravery.Such, people known as critical thinker who's think better not only for their children, family members and for their personlity these type of people manage everything within balance and equality.Furthermore, i wanted to became a critical thinker and much brave in my future time beside this i really appercitae about this opinion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to discuss both accepting difficult circumstances and trying to improve them, and it expresses a personal preference for becoming a “critical thinker” and being brave. However, the discussion is only partially developed: the first view is described mainly through people enduring low salaries and hardship, while the second is presented as striving for better jobs, without clear reasons or a relevant example to support either view. The position is also difficult to identify because the final personal statement is brief and does not clearly explain which approach the writer considers best. To strengthen the response, state your opinion directly and develop each view with a specific reason and example, such as the risks of changing jobs versus the benefits of seeking better opportunities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to move from one view to the other, signalled by “Thus” and “On the other hand,” and the response ends with a personal comment. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the long opening sequence combines several points without a clear progression. Some links are difficult to follow: “On the other hand’s like in rural areas” does not clearly show how the next point contrasts with the previous one, and repeated “Moreover” does not establish the relationship between ideas. Pronoun references such as “these guys” and “these people” are also unclear at times. Organise the essay into an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion, using linking phrases only where their logical relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “lowest salaries,” “financial,” “struggle,” and “anxiety,” and uses words such as “critical thinker” to express a personal quality. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand, for example “backward houses,” “do hard works,” “make violent on that,” and “addicted with these such things.” Several expressions appear to be inaccurate attempts at the intended meaning, which reduces precision. Build a reliable set of phrases for employment and hardship, such as “poor living conditions,” “accept a low-paid job,” and “seek better opportunities.” Check spelling and learn new vocabulary in complete phrases so that word choice sounds natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences using “because,” “as well as,” and “if,” but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors frequently make the meaning harder to follow. Examples include “majority of people lives,” “they feel helpless, accept lowest salaries or faces,” and “they knew about their right’s,” where agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction are not controlled. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several ideas joined into long strings. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, checking that each has a clear subject and correctly formed verb. Then add one subordinate clause at a time, and review agreement and tense—for example, “many people live” and “they face problems.”

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