Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is argued by many people that accepting werse circumanstances such as, financial dependence or unsatisfactory occupation makes individual more progressive while, others beleive that by putting some hardship they can improve their lives. I believe that people can make themselves more happy by accepting the worst outcomes while trying to improve the situation.

On the one hand, For instance an indiviual from a socio econimic background can feel more mental pressure while, looking after their family and, this can lead towards bad decisions regarding occupation or sucide. Acceptance is one of the major part of our lives which always push towards keep moving.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the two broad positions—accepting difficult circumstances and trying to improve them—and state an opinion: “people can make themselves more happy by accepting the worst outcomes while trying to improve the situation.” However, the response addresses the task only minimally. The discussion of acceptance is brief, and the opposing view is mentioned in the introduction but not explained or supported. The example about financial pressure and family responsibilities is difficult to connect clearly to either position, and the essay does not develop reasons or relevant examples sufficiently. The response also falls short of the required 250 words. To strengthen your answer, explain both views in separate, developed paragraphs, clarify your own position, and support each main point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the issue and your opinion, while “On the one hand” signals the start of a supporting point. These markers show awareness of how an essay can be structured. However, the response ends after one short body paragraph, so there is no clear progression through both sides of the discussion or a concluding summary. Connections within the paragraph are also unclear: the example about socioeconomic background, family responsibilities, and poor decisions is not explicitly linked to the claim about acceptance. Plan a clear sequence—introduction, one paragraph for each view, and conclusion—and use linking phrases to show how each example supports its main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “financial dependence,” “unsatisfactory occupation,” “mental pressure,” and “acceptance.” This gives the response a relevant starting point, but the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts harder to understand. Examples include “werse circumanstances,” “beleive,” and “socio econimic”; “putting some hardship” is also an unnatural phrase for making an effort to improve one’s circumstances. The expression “more happy” is understandable but not idiomatic. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for discussing employment, financial hardship, and personal change, and check spelling carefully. More precise collocations would help you express your ideas clearly without relying on broad or awkward wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes an attempt at a complex sentence, particularly the opening sentence, and uses a subordinate clause in “while looking after their family.” However, the range remains limited, and errors in sentence construction and punctuation are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, the opening has an awkward structure around “such as” and “while,” and commas interrupt phrases in “while, looking after their family and, this can lead.” The sentence beginning “Acceptance is one of the major part” also has an agreement error and an unclear verb pattern in “push towards keep moving.” Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses carefully. Check articles, agreement, and comma placement when editing.

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