Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are several individuals who believed that it is good habit to accept a bad condition, namely unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. On the other hand, some people argue that it is a better condition to tackle and enhance such situations. This essay will discuss both views, as far as i am concerned, i am in favour of latter notion.

To commence with, by providiong sevral job oppertunities for unemployed people by different firms, might removed anxioty and lack of money among the individuals. To ellaborate it, when large firm provide better job opportunities and gives a standerd salary to his employer, the conditions may become removed and people lived a good standerd life. For instance, a headline revealed by BBC that many factories offered several jobs and a good standerd salary to his employer to encourage people to live a better life.

Shifting towards former view, it is best to accept a bad situation, namely stressed job or lack of money because people didnot try to enhance their living life-style due to lack of technology and confidence.

In conclusion, although accepting a bad situation is also best, while struggleing and enhancing such situations are so important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position in the introduction—“I am in favour of [the] latter notion”—and refer to both accepting a bad situation and trying to improve it. However, the discussion is very limited: the paragraph about improvement focuses mainly on firms providing jobs, rather than explaining what individuals can do, and the paragraph supporting acceptance gives only one brief reason. The conclusion does not clearly restate your view. The response also contains 190 words, so it is 60 words below the required minimum; this restricts how fully you can develop and support the ideas. To improve, explain both perspectives with relevant reasons or examples, and make your own position clear throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, and signposts such as “On the other hand,” “To commence with” and “In conclusion” help indicate the intended structure. However, the progression between ideas is not consistently clear. The first body paragraph discusses firms creating jobs, but its connection to the view that people should actively improve their own circumstances needs to be explained. The paragraph beginning “Shifting towards former view” is too brief to develop its point, while the conclusion introduces “struggling and enhancing” without clearly resolving the contrast. Build each body paragraph around one view, explain the reasoning in a logical sequence, and use linking phrases to show relationships rather than simply announce a new section.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “unsatisfactory job,” “shortage of money,” “job opportunities” and “salary,” and the reader can generally identify the subject. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “a better condition to tackle,” “removed anxiety” and “lived a good standard life.” Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “providiong,” “oppertunities” and “standerd.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, describe people as improving their circumstances or earning a stable income, rather than saying that conditions are “removed.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style example beginning “when large firm provide…” and a reason introduced by “because.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning unclear. For example, “by providing … might removed” does not form a complete, accurate clause, and “large firm provide” and “people lived” do not maintain appropriate agreement and tense. The sentence beginning “To commence with” also has a misplaced opening phrase. Practise building complete subject–verb clauses, keeping tense consistent, and checking articles and singular/plural agreement. Clearer sentence structures will help your ideas come across more reliably.

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