Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Smoking has a very extremely harmful effect on people's health. Cigarettes can cause severe diseases and should be made unlawful. I completely agree with the statement and cause will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs

Commencing with the first point smoking is harmful to health, to explain it many people have a habit of smoking cigarettes. this is very bad habit. during to this affect their health when people smoking cigarette affect on lungs. initially when people smoking cigarettes them not impact there health in this way people smoking everyday after that many people faced numerous problems and then peoples pass away. their families are badly affected and they have to face many difficulties secondly , Addiction, people smoking again to again them many people are gets addicted to cigarettes.

Furthermore, numerous individual do waste of money . owing to One pack of cigarettes 50 rupees and in which box only 5 cigarette I think many people one and two smoking cigarette a day that's reason people not save money. In the second point environment pollution when people smoking secrets this is a fact on environment when people smoking secret around other people more bad effect their health during people breath polluted air and when people smoking cigarettes and this affect on children because children learn this bad habit.

In conclusion, as every coin has one sides. many people don't take smoking cigarettes. these are many bad effects on their health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“I completely agree”—and give relevant reasons, including illness, addiction, family effects, expense, and harm to children and bystanders. However, the response only partly develops the task: it does not explain why smoking should specifically be made illegal, or consider how a ban might work. Several points are asserted rather than supported with clear examples or explanation, and the conclusion does not restate your argument effectively. The response is also 10 words below the required minimum. To strengthen the essay, explain the case for legal prohibition, develop two or three main reasons with specific supporting details, and finish with a direct summary of your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, a body, and a conclusion, and it attempts to guide the reader with phrases such as “Commencing with the first point” and “Furthermore.” These features provide some basic organisation. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into one paragraph, and the links between them are unclear. For example, the discussion moves from illness to addiction, then money, pollution, and children without clear paragraph breaks or explanation of how each point supports the argument about illegality. Some transitions, including “In the second point,” are confusing because the preceding point is not clearly numbered. Use one paragraph per main reason, connect each reason to your position, and make references and transitions more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “severe diseases,” “addicted,” “environment pollution,” and “families are badly affected,” so the reader can identify the main subject and reasons. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations that sometimes strain understanding. Examples include “very extremely harmful,” “during to this affect,” and “smoking secrets,” which do not express the intended meaning clearly. Repeated use of “people,” “bad,” and “effect” also limits precision. Build a more accurate set of phrases for health and policy arguments, and check that each word fits its context. For instance, distinguish “cause harm” from “have an effect,” and use “cigarettes” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentences and use basic structures to communicate your main position, but sentence control is limited. Frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries make parts of the response difficult to understand. For example, “when people smoking cigarette affect on lungs” lacks a correctly formed clause, while “many people are gets addicted” combines incompatible verb forms. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “this is very bad habit. during to this affect…” To improve, first produce accurate simple sentences with a clear subject and verb, then practise joining them with because, when, and although. Check each sentence for tense, singular/plural agreement, and a complete ending.

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