Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

"Smoking is injurious to health" this line apeared before every film starts on secreen but still there are millions of people out there who are not willing to quit. No doubt that smoking can cause the serious illnesses including the most fatal one, the cancer. Before giving my statement that it should be made illegal, i will explain why there is need to do so.

Analysis illustrates that a single single cigerrate contains more that 1000 carcinogenic elements, which are enough to dvelope the cancer in the consumer's body. This cancer can effects any part of user's body either internal or external. It ables to attack lungs, mouth, tounge, toes and many more.

Back in time, we just used to see a few elderly people who were involved in smoking but now the situation has taken the dangerous turn, it captures our youth our young adults and teen. According to Asian health data almost 10000 people die because of smoking every year. Report says most of them are less then 35 years old which means how much badly it's effecting our youth.

The hazards of smoking are not just limited to its user but the people around that smoker got effected by this too, this is called passive smoking. If someone is sharing a room or a ride with a smoker or if he is just standing besides him in a public place, while that guy has lightrd a cigerrate, he is the victim because the user is smoking from the filtered end but this poor guy has to suffer by inhaling that smoke coming all the way directly from that burning end. For an instance a friend of mine had to admit in a hospital as he got athama while he was sharing a hostel room with a smoker.

In many countries smoking is illegal in public places. They impose fines and the voilators may have to face stricter consequences. but in my opnion by keeping all these dangers in mind it should be properly made illegal so that some little kid would never ever loose his father just because of this smoking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your response addresses the question and maintains a clear position: you argue that smoking should be made illegal, including in the conclusion. You support this view with several relevant points, such as cancer risks, harm to bystanders, and an example involving your friend’s asthma. These examples extend the argument rather than simply listing claims. However, the discussion focuses mainly on health effects and gives little consideration to what making smoking illegal would involve or why prohibition is preferable to regulation. Some claims, such as the cigarette containing “more that 1000 carcinogenic elements,” are presented broadly without explanation or qualification. Developing the policy argument and supporting general claims more carefully would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable progression: it introduces the issue, discusses direct health effects, considers passive smoking, and ends with a firm recommendation. Paragraphing helps separate these points, and links such as “The hazards… are not just limited” signal a shift to a related argument. This meets the lower-band expectation of an overall coherent arrangement and shows some features of clearer progression. However, connections between claims are sometimes abrupt, and the opening promise to explain why prohibition is needed is not fully followed through as a policy argument. Some sentences also contain several ideas without clear internal organisation. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main claim, then connect evidence explicitly to the case for a ban.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “carcinogenic,” “passive smoking,” “impose fines,” and “stricter consequences.” These terms show an attempt to go beyond basic wording. However, the range and control are limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word choices, including “apeared,” “secreen,” “dvelope,” “effecting,” and “voilators.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “the most fatal one, the cancer” and “captures our youth.” These errors can distract the reader and occasionally make the intended meaning less clear. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning natural collocations, for example, “develop cancer,” “affect young people,” and “people who violate the law.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer complex sentences, including conditional and relative structures such as “If someone is sharing a room…” and “which means…” This gives the response some structural variety. However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur across verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “This cancer can effects” should use a base verb after “can,” while “the people around that smoker got effected” has an unclear and inaccurate tense construction. The opening quotation also needs clearer punctuation and sentence boundaries. These problems sometimes make the reader pause to interpret the meaning. Practise accurate clause construction and proofread each sentence for subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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