Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often contended that cigarettes, cigars, vapes, and many more which lies under the category of smoking cause adverse effects and ought to be illegal. I am in partial agreement with this statement and the reasons will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, a number of individuals smoke and indeed, it causes serious health issues. All these sources contain detrimental ingredients such as cigarettes and cigars contain tabacco, vapes containt artificial liquid flavours and nicotine is common in all, so when they are burned by any means they produce smoke and when individuals inhale the smoke, they suffer badly. For instance, the condition of a smoker's lungs deteriorates with the passage of time. Even there are a lot of cases recorded related to various cancers that eventually case death. Moreover, all these means of smoking are quite expensive and when a person get addicted to them, they devote a substantial amount of money; consequantly, this addiction makes them financially weak. Ultimately, it is suggested that it ought to be banned.

On the other hand, there are other environmental factors which contributes more in causing serious illness. Air pollution is one of the debatable concerns which requires actual consideration from national authorities. Smoke only affects a certain smoker but air pollution affects the population of the whole area. Furthermore, the number of diseases caused by air pollution are far more significant than the smoke itself. It does not affect internally but it also causes skin cancer and in certain cases it entirely affects our DNA.

To conclude, smoke is disadvantageous but upto certain extent. It is not solely responsible for the serious illnesses, even in some cases it improves our mental health. Pollution is more concerning issue and the fatality rate is far more higer than the smoking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is stated as partial agreement, and you give relevant reasons: smoking can damage health and create financial costs, while air pollution may affect a wider population. The examples of deteriorating lungs and cancer help explain the health argument. However, the response does not fully resolve the question of whether smoking should be made illegal. The first body paragraph concludes that it should be banned, but the conclusion says smoking is not solely responsible for illness and may improve mental health, without explaining how these points support partial agreement or what restrictions you would favour. The claim about mental health is also unsupported. Develop the counterargument and make your final position consistent and explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand” and “To conclude” make the broad direction easy to follow. However, some connections between ideas are mechanical or unclear. For example, “All these sources contain detrimental ingredients such as cigarettes and cigars contain…” combines ideas awkwardly, and the shift from health effects to financial costs in the first body paragraph is abrupt. The conclusion also introduces mental health without preparing for that point earlier. Use clearer sentence-level links and group related reasons together; ensure each paragraph develops one main idea before moving to another.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “detrimental ingredients,” “addicted,” “air pollution,” “population” and “fatality rate.” These choices help communicate the main points, and some less common expressions are attempted. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “sources” for smoking products, “means of smoking,” “financially weak” and “the fatality rate is far more higher.” There are also spelling errors, including “tabacco,” “consequantly” and “higer,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, refer to “tobacco products,” say addiction can “cause financial hardship,” and describe pollution as a “more pressing concern.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “when,” “which” and “but,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. Some sentences, however, contain errors in agreement, verb forms and sentence construction. For example, “a number of individuals smoke and indeed, it causes” has an unclear subject and agreement; “when a person get addicted” needs a matching verb form; and “factors which contributes” has incorrect agreement. The sentence beginning “It does not affect internally but it also causes…” is also difficult to follow because its structure is incomplete or unbalanced. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, and use parallel structures when contrasting ideas.

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