Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

smoking could have disastrous consequences. Some say that smoking should be banned. I firmly agree that smoking causes severe diseases and it needs to be banned.

Smoking has become a real headache for teens. They are trying to quit it ,its addictive nature has taken many beautiful souls in its wrap .Heavy fine should be put to such shopkeeper who sells such poison to children

My uncle was a chain smoker. He used to finish two packets of cigrretes .One day abruptly ,he felt puzzled and fall from stairs .His condition became worst due to smoking.

Moreover, If smoking become illegal ,then no one would be able to purchase it at the market. It is easily available ,thats why people buy it easily .Such shops should face heavy penalty,if they continue to sell cigrettes .

Harsh rules should be set for those shopkeepers who sell this hazardous stuff only for few penny. However, government should run adds and telling the detrimental effect of this poison.And those selling this should be put behind bars.

I started smoking when I was in my college, a friend of mine offered me ,and without any hesitation ,I took it and i smoked ,thats how I tried it became addictive .I wish , I could have said no to that guy.This is how I initiated smoking in my college days .

In conclusion, smoking is extremely dangerous to health and should be banned everywhere at the world ,specially at the surrounding of schools and colleges. It should be consider a sin those who smoke

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of banning smoking. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you provide personal anecdotes about your uncle and your own experience, these are not fully integrated into a cohesive argument about the broader societal implications of a ban. The essay relies heavily on personal narrative rather than analytical discussion. To improve, focus on expanding the logical consequences of a ban, such as economic impacts or public health outcomes, rather than just repeating that it is 'dangerous' or 'poisonous'. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive and introduces new, slightly off-topic suggestions like banning smoking specifically around schools.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into short paragraphs, which helps readability. However, the logical progression between ideas is often disjointed. For instance, the transition from the uncle's health issues to the market availability of cigarettes is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover' and 'However', but they are sometimes used mechanically or inappropriately, such as using 'However' to introduce a government action rather than a contrast. Paragraphing is present but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear topic sentence followed by supporting evidence, making the flow feel somewhat fragmented.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You use some emotive language like 'disastrous consequences', 'poison', and 'hazardous', which is effective, but there is also significant repetition of basic words like 'smoking', 'banned', and 'sell'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'cigrretes' and 'cigrettes', and incorrect word choices like 'adds' instead of 'advertisements' or 'campaigns'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in punctuation, such as missing spaces after commas and periods, and issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Heavy fine should be put', 'smoking become illegal'). Articles are also frequently omitted or misused (e.g., 'at the market', 'at the surrounding of schools'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation hinder the overall fluency of the text. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical rules would significantly improve your score.

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