Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Serious illnesses can be caused by smoking and restricted in smoking. This essay also indents to discuss the problem and it should be made illegal.

Predominantly, smoking can affect people heart as well as lungs. This is because smoking factor people are consumed it in large quantities due to habit of smoking. Fo example, people affect theri life this the consequences of smoking. Apart from this, smoking things aslo is not good for relationship because smoker can not have money for their family such children education and cannot afford necessary thing in home. This, it affect relationship f family and reduce the life of smokers.

It is good for public if it make illegal because some time people can consume in for show-off and banned shops who sell it . This is helps reduce consumption of cecrates. Moreover,

In conclusion smoking is bad for health and relationships relationships

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 148 words. Consequently, the ideas are significantly under-developed and the task is only partially addressed. While the essay attempts to discuss the health and financial impacts of smoking, the arguments are superficial and lack the necessary depth and supporting evidence required for an academic task. The position is stated but not consistently maintained or explored in a structured manner. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure you reach the required length to allow for a full exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear logical progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed and often confusing. Cohesive devices are used in a very limited and sometimes incorrect manner, such as the repetitive use of 'Apart from this' and 'Moreover'. The conclusion is incomplete and fails to summarize the main points effectively. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of the argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would greatly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and often inaccurate, which occasionally impedes communication. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'smoking factor people are consumed it' and 'smoking things aslo'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and the essay relies on repetitive phrasing. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to health and social issues, and practice using more precise terminology rather than relying on general or incorrectly applied words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentence structures. There are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and sentence construction throughout the text, such as 'if it make illegal' and 'some time people can consume in'. These errors are pervasive and often make the meaning difficult to grasp. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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