Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, many people are smoking because of the stress and depression in work life. This can affected on health parts such as lungs and long term make serious problem, that's why government should be provided law. This essay will provided demerits about health issues, i believed made new rules decreases the serious illnesses.

To begin with, there are several demerits about smoking. Firstly, many persons smoke everyday to overcome their stress, this habits affects on them all organism. Due to, every day smoking make a serious problem like cancer and breath problem. for example, in india, many people has serious illness due to every day smoking. Secondly, due to smoking mostly people disturb in public center because of many persons disturbe with smoke and sme

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the required word count of 250 words, reaching only 125 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you state a position regarding the illegality of smoking, the ideas are severely underdeveloped. You mention health issues and public disturbance, but these points lack the necessary extension, examples, and logical progression required for an academic essay. The response stops abruptly, failing to provide a conclusion or a fully formed argument. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific evidence and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to allow for a full exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay shows some attempt at organization through the use of transition words like 'To begin with', 'Firstly', and 'Secondly'. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is present but the second paragraph is cut off mid-sentence, which disrupts the flow. Cohesive devices are used in a somewhat mechanical and repetitive way. The lack of a clear conclusion and the abrupt ending make it difficult to follow the logical development of your argument. Improving the structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and a complete supporting argument will help improve your score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. Phrases like 'health parts' instead of 'organs' or 'respiratory system', and 'all organism' instead of 'the whole body' indicate a lack of precision. There are also spelling errors such as 'sme' (likely meant to be 'smell' or 'smoke'). You rely on basic vocabulary, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas about health and public policy. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning collocations related to health and social issues and ensure you use words in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

There are frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. Examples include 'This can affected on health parts' (incorrect verb form and preposition), 'government should be provided law' (passive voice error), and 'many people has serious illness' (subject-verb agreement). You rely primarily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with run-on sentences and missing terminal punctuation. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses, and the proper use of articles and prepositions.

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