Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, it is a controversial topic that smoking should be banned because it leads to severe diseases. I totally agree with it because smoking can cause irreversible damage to the body and the second-hand smoke is hazardous to public's health. Moreover, the funding spending on treating the diseases induce heavy burden on government.

Firstly, smoking can cause serious short-term and long-term health condition. The short-term issue would be coughing, brown teeth, dull skin and strong bad smell; whereas the long-ter like macular degeneration. It should arose the public concern regarding some of the damages are irreversible and uncurable. Furthermore, victims of intaking the second-hand smoke are sufferers of these illness as well. For example, a recent UK health statistic demonstrated that 60% of lung cancer cases are primarily caused by smoking. Therefore, this high percentage of lung cancer should be prevented by setting laws to prevent citizens from smoking.

Secondly, these serious health issues lead to heavy financial concern on patients and government. In addition, the treatments require consistent medication and enormous medical funding from the government settings. For instance, the injection treatment for eye degeneration caused by smoking cost about 1000 pounds each, which requires more than 10 injection for every course. This budget can be used for education of harmful impacts instead of treating the conditions.

In conclusion, the outcomes of smoking are detrimental because it leads to tremendous damage to health and financial burden for individuals and authorities. I would totally agree that people should not be allowed to smoke.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses the prompt clearly, maintaining a consistent position throughout. The arguments regarding health impacts and financial burdens are relevant and logically extended. However, the development is slightly uneven; while the health argument is supported by a specific statistic, the financial argument could be more robustly linked to the broader societal impact of a total ban. The ideas are generally well-developed, but the essay would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the counter-arguments or the practical implications of such a ban to reach a higher band. Overall, the task is fully addressed with a clear, focused position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct central theme. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the phrase 'these serious health issues' which could be more tightly linked to the preceding paragraph. Despite these minor points, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task. You use some effective collocations like 'irreversible damage', 'hazardous to public's health', and 'financial burden'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'intaking the second-hand smoke' (should be 'inhaling') and 'government settings' (which is vague). The use of 'uncurable' instead of 'incurable' and 'arose' instead of 'arouse' indicates a need for more precise word choice. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated academic vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'the funding spending on treating the diseases induce heavy burden' contains subject-verb agreement errors ('induce' should be 'induces') and awkward phrasing. 'The short-ter like macular degeneration' is an incomplete sentence fragment. Additionally, there are issues with articles and pluralization, such as '1000 pounds' (should be '1,000 pounds') and 'more than 10 injection' (should be 'injections'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the score.

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