Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The issue of smoking illnesses has become a subject of debate in recent year.while some people firmly have belive that disease by the smoking is illegal , others may have diffirent views about it.I generally agree with this position because many illagal action tken by smoker.

To begin with drwabacks of smoking often its acure in every age of people. The major and first drwaback of the smoking is to very injerious to health now a days every minor and young also pray of this bad habit .our society rapidly escape by using very harmfull drugs like ice sigirate and gutka also involved .secondly with this matter pollution also increased day by day .it also refer to envoirnmental degradation.its can b very tough challange for the new generation how to free from this tyep of deeds for example when a person has not money to buy the drugs and then they loose their tamper and take any serious steps while such steps will b prove illegal and danger.Furthermore despite of smoking from drugging and one most important thing is smoking prodused by the heavy traffic and factories which creates most serious condition in the cities and in the urban areas majority of papulation affected by the smoke which lead most danger desieses like lungs problems ashtma ,heart desiese and many tyeps of elergy .

Additionaly system of our country neglect such serious issues .by increasing of smoking and disease death rate of our province then other provinces is very high.

IN conclusion healthcare is very important .I still believe healthcare is mandatory for every person .

i strongly agree with my opinon about illegal action and illnesses.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt minimally, attempting to discuss whether smoking should be made illegal. A position is stated, expressing general agreement with the prompt's premise, but the ideas presented remain largely limited and under-developed. For instance, the writer touches on health issues, youth involvement, and crime related to drug addiction, but these points are tangled together without clear extension or logical support. Examples provided, such as a person losing their temper when they lack money for drugs, lack relevance to the specific core issue of smoking tobacco and are insufficiently connected to the main argument. The overall treatment of the topic stays at a surface level, resulting in an inadequate exploration of the prompt's complexities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text displays some basic organization, separating the response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but there is a lack of clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, yet the internal structure of the main body paragraph is dense and disjointed, grouping multiple unrelated thoughts—such as health hazards, environmental pollution, and criminal behavior—into a single sprawling block of text. Cohesive devices are used minimally and often inaccurately, failing to establish clear logical relationships between sentences. For example, transitional phrases like 'To begin with' and 'Additionaly' are utilized, but referencing and substitution are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas seamlessly from beginning to end.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Vocabulary usage is limited and basic, with noticeable errors that frequently impede communication and strain the reader. The student attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'environmental degradation' and 'injerious', but suffers from frequent spelling and word-form inaccuracies, including 'illagal', 'drwabacks', 'acure', 'sigirate', 'desieses', and 'elergy'. Word choice is often unnatural or inappropriate for an academic context, such as using 'pray' instead of 'prey' and 'loose their tamper' instead of 'lose their temper'. These lexical shortcomings prevent the vocabulary from being flexible or precise, keeping the lexical range at a restricted level throughout the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentence forms with frequent errors in complex structures. There are persistent mistakes in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, such as 'disease by the smoking', 'action tken by smoker', and 'smoking prodused by the heavy traffic'. Punctuation and capitalization are also problematic, as seen in erratic spacing, missing periods, and stray capital letters in the middle of sentences ('IN conclusion'). These frequent errors occur across most sentences and often cause difficulty for the reader in deciphering the intended meaning.

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