Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Smoking can cause serious illness and i think it should be illegal i totally agree for that due to smoking is very bad for the health.

On the one hand, Smoking is very dangerous for health it cause many serious illness for health furthermore, it should be strict in every country because when people have some problem they will eat smoking and they think smoking give them peaceful but it is totally wrong it can be give many new health issues also sometimes it give died also when people eat much of smoking so i think it should be made illegal if it was strictly no one would try to smoke.

On the other hand, in this generation most of the adults age boys are eat smoking and they think they are cool to do smoke, it is very bad so police, prime minister of the country they should strict for that because in the future they would be regret to eat smoke moreover, if it would be made illegal no one try to eat smoke and they are scare of that things also our country try to not entry of any smoke if someone try to selling smoke they would be arrested if that kinds of rules start it is very good for everyone and their health also save from that dangerous.

In conclusion. i partially agree if smoking are not stop to selling or it should not be made illegal many people faces health problem and some people are died from eat smoking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt minimally, attempting to express an opinion on whether smoking should be made illegal. A position is stated, although it is somewhat contradictory, shifting from total agreement in the introduction to a partial agreement in the conclusion. The ideas presented are very limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive assertions rather than well-reasoned arguments or supported examples. For instance, the claim that smoking should be banned because adults eat smoking and think they are cool lacks sufficient extension and depth. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to present a clear, consistent position throughout the essay and extend their main ideas with relevant explanations, logical reasoning, and concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The information and ideas are not arranged coherently, resulting in a somewhat disjointed response. Although the writer attempts to use paragraphing to separate different viewpoints, the overall progression is difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are basic and often inaccurate or repetitive, such as the frequent use of comma splices and simple conjunctions like 'furthermore' and 'moreover' to string clauses together without clear logical links. Referencing is also weak, making it hard to track who or what is being referred to in sentences like 'if that kinds of rules start'. To improve coherence, the writer must ensure a logical organization of ideas with clear progression, use a wider range of cohesive devices accurately, and manage paragraphing more effectively.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, severely restricting the quality of the response. The student repeatedly uses unnatural lexical choices and collocations, such as 'eat smoking' instead of 'smoke' or 'smoking cigarettes', and 'give died' instead of 'cause death'. There are also noticeable word-form and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'peaceful' instead of 'peace', 'scare' instead of 'scared', and 'kinds' instead of 'kind'. These frequent lexical inaccuracies cause considerable strain for the reader and impede clear communication. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, learn correct word combinations and collocations, and pay closer attention to word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentence forms and heavily flawed attempts at complex structures. Errors are frequent and often distort the meaning, such as in the sentence 'police, prime minister of the country they should strict for that' and 'if smoking are not stop to selling'. There are pervasive issues with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and inappropriate prepositions inside grammatical patterns. Furthermore, punctuation is largely neglected, resulting in long run-on sentences joined only by commas. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of sentence structures, improve control over basic grammar and verb forms, and use punctuation correctly to separate independent clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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