Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people have higher attractions toward smoking, some people argues that it should be made illegal because it can cause serious consequences. This essay concurs with the given statement because smoking can result in long-term physical illnesses and sometimes it can create worst situations for loved ones.

To begin with the first cause of agreement with the aforementioned concept, smoking can harm people's physical well-being. To explain it, people who used to smoke regularly, have major chances to get ill physically. They have higher risk of serious disease including cancer and heartattack. Additionally, they can also face mentall issues such as memory loss and lack of patience. By making smoking illigal, many people can save their lives. To give an example, according to a report of World Health Organization, smoking and alcohol consupmtion were the core origin of the majority cases of cancers.

Additionally, another aspect that leads to disagreement is smoking can ruine family relations and put loved ones in a critical situation. Sometimes people after getting ill, spends their earning in hospitals, as a result, their family members have to face some issues such as living in poor condition or lack of facilities. Moreover, if the family head dies due to serious disease, family often faces financially worst situations. To quote an instance, according to a report of the BBC News, loan companies have given loans to those families, whose family head died due to the serious disease caused by smoking or alcohol.

To conclude, due to the points discussed smoking can result in danger kinds of diseases and can put family member's life at risk, this essay has the same understanding of given statement that smoking can result in negative consequences and shoud be banned or made illegal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that smoking should be illegal, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address the health effects and the impact on families, with examples such as cancer and financial hardship after a family member becomes ill or dies. This gives the response relevant support and meets the main demands of the task. However, the second body paragraph begins, “another aspect that leads to disagreement,” which conflicts with your stated position and makes the argument less consistent. Some claims, including the link between smoking and memory loss and the reported loans to bereaved families, need clearer explanation or more credible, specific support. Developing these points more carefully would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from health consequences to effects on family finances, and signposting such as “To begin with,” “Additionally” and “To conclude” helps readers follow the main stages. However, the linking is sometimes mechanical, and the phrase “another aspect that leads to disagreement” disrupts the progression because the paragraph actually supports your agreement. Some sentences also combine several consequences without clearly showing how one leads to the next. Use transitions that accurately express the relationship between ideas, and make references such as “the given statement” more specific. This would improve cohesion while preserving the clear overall arrangement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “physical well-being,” “serious disease,” “financially” and “critical situation,” so the main ideas are usually understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “aforementioned concept.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or inaccurate: “higher attractions toward smoking,” “major chances to get ill,” “danger kinds of diseases” and “financially worst situations.” Spelling errors such as “illigal,” “consupmtion” and “shoud” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural, precise combinations rather than formal-sounding phrases, and proofread spelling. For example, “increased appeal” and “a higher risk of developing an illness” would express your meaning more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “as a result” and “if.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction are noticeable. For example, “some people argues” should use a plural verb, while “people … spends their earning” has agreement and number problems. In “people who used to smoke regularly, have major chances,” the comma interrupts the clause and the tense and structure are awkward. The final sentence also joins several ideas without clear punctuation. Review subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences around one clear main clause; this will help you retain variety while improving control.

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