Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Smoking is a very harmful and dangerous habit for our health and life. I am fully agree to this movement that should be made illegal. My point of view, Smoking are a small part of drugs. This is the biggest cause of our environment.

Firstly, some elder people that smoking he's converted to the bad habits to his friends. These peoples where is go than start smoking like out fo school colleges, market or crowded places even though the time of vehicle driving too. When these places peoples specially childrens see these person that doing smoking so they think about this and attracting them. These same people are live in every society and environment. These peoples are reason to clean and good environment converting to the bad and dirty environment.

Secondly, one of the most popular reason is our social media. People are watch movies, videos, seasons etc. so they learn bad things about smoking and drugs. Our young generation are smoking for making reels or videos so that they are coming days to famous.

Lastly, Nowadays some people says that smoking are give relaxation so that if you are in depression opr any tension so you are smoking so that a peace of your brain. In the same way, Many People do the smoking for his brain's peace and children learns about smoking is right and one day they think they will smoking one day.

For Example: If I smoke behind some cousins, freinds and childrens so they ask me Why are you smoking? I will said because we get the peace of brain. So that they listen my conversation so attracting to smoking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position in the opening—“I am fully agree” that smoking should be illegal—and give several reasons, including its influence on young people and the claim that it harms the environment. However, the response only partially develops the task. Much of the discussion focuses on people copying smokers or seeing smoking in media, rather than explaining why smoking causes serious illnesses or how making it illegal would address the problem. The example about smoking in front of cousins repeats the influence-on-others point without adding much support. To strengthen the response, explain the health consequences with a specific example and address the practical case for prohibition, while briefly considering a counterargument such as personal freedom.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction followed by points signalled with “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly,” and a separate example. This helps the reader identify the main sections. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and several ideas repeat, particularly the claim that children and young people may imitate smokers. Connections between claims are sometimes difficult to follow; for example, the move from social media to becoming famous is not fully explained. The final example also restates an earlier point rather than bringing the argument to a clear conclusion. Use topic sentences that state one focused reason, then explain and support it in sequence, and finish with a concise conclusion that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic set of topic-related words, including “smoking,” “drugs,” “environment,” “depression,” and “relaxation,” so the general subject is apparent. However, vocabulary is limited and repetitive, and some word choices or combinations make the intended meaning difficult to understand. For instance, “a peace of your brain” appears to mean peace of mind, while “converted to the bad habits” is not a natural way to describe someone influencing others. There are also spelling errors such as “freinds” and “opr.” Build a more precise range for discussing health and policy, and check collocations and spelling. For example, use “serious health conditions,” “influence young people,” and “restrict or prohibit tobacco sales” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences using connectors such as “so,” “when,” and “if,” but the range of structures is limited and errors are frequent. These often make relationships between ideas hard to follow. Examples include “I am fully agree,” “Smoking are a small part,” and “these person that doing smoking,” which show problems with verb forms, agreement, and clause construction. The conditional example—“If I smoke … so they ask me”—also does not form a controlled conditional sentence. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences with one clear main clause and a correctly formed subordinate clause. Check punctuation and capitalisation consistently as well.

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