Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

smoking is injorious to health this lead to severe health issues it can cause lung cancer oval cancer it is a growing problem all over the pakistan this made the people addictited to smoking and made people feel taboo to share about this and i think this should be banned in pakistan because many people die with smoking and i think making ciggarettes should be illegal our society made people feel taboo to share about addiction they made pepole to think about that they made very bad decision of his or her life people somke for stress relief but in the end they die because of smoking smoking also cause bad breathing and make them feel so small smoking cause people to lost their lovely people we can go to rehabillitaions center to get rid of smoking now it has become very common thing for teenagers like students of colleges and universities are at high risk because they may try smoking at parties or with friends thinking it is a fun but it actually dangerous for them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a relevant position, saying smoking “should be banned in pakistan,” and give several related reasons, including serious illness, deaths, stress-related smoking, and risks to teenagers. These points show an understanding of the topic, but the response addresses it only partially: it does not clearly discuss whether smoking should be illegal in general, and the focus shifts between banning smoking, making cigarettes, and helping people quit. Most claims are asserted rather than explained or supported with a specific example. The response is also 73 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your argument. To strengthen it, state your position precisely and explain two or three reasons with examples and a clear conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response contains several relevant ideas, and the reference to teenagers follows naturally from the broader concern about smoking. However, almost the entire answer is presented as one long sentence, so the reader has difficulty identifying where one reason ends and another begins. Ideas also move abruptly from illness and addiction to social taboo, stress, rehabilitation, and students. Linking is mostly limited to repeated uses of “and,” “because,” and “but,” rather than clear transitions that show how points relate. Organise the response into paragraphs—for example, a position and health effects, then social and youth risks, followed by a conclusion—and use topic sentences and linking phrases to create a clearer progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “severe health issues,” “lung cancer,” “stress relief,” “addiction,” and “rehabilitations center.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing smoking and its effects. However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly “smoking,” “people,” and “made,” and several spelling or word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “injorious,” “oval cancer,” “addictited,” and “taboo.” Some expressions are also imprecise, including “feel so small” and “lost their lovely people.” Aim to use accurate, natural collocations and vary repeated terms—for example, “tobacco use,” “become dependent,” and “serious respiratory problems.” Proofreading spelling would also make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses such as “because many people die with smoking” and “thinking it is a fun,” but the response relies mainly on a long chain of simple clauses. Frequent problems with sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement, and articles make the argument hard to follow. For example, “smoking also cause” needs subject–verb agreement, while “they die because of smoking” is joined to surrounding ideas without clear punctuation. The sentence about teenagers also needs clearer clause structure. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add controlled complex forms using “because,” “although,” or “which.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, and appropriate punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.