Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In early life of human history, stress is an inevitable form of human being - in order to terminate the overthinking, people are attracted by smoking in a way to quit reality. However, this is digustingly unacceptable due to multiple moral consequences, public environments and individual well being.

Initially, smoking is commonly used as an excuse to quit the hardship of life yet also a way to shout out ho mature they become. To my surprise, especially to those young male teenagers, smoking is a way to flex their maturity and show out their ability. However, this is about individial ego not is the reason for smkoing to exist. We all know indeed smoking is declining physical health, yet not, helping to escape the reality. The significance of smoking is young teenagers can accidentally think those actions are accepted in society and somehow will encourage them to copy. This is the moral destruction by copying the wrong idea of ow thing was formed. Smoking was first used as medicine to numb the pain in the brain due to highly toxic chemical that stops the neuron signals. Therefore, not justs stopping the physical functions but also reflects th wrong idea to younger generation.

Besides the moral destruction, one thing is certained about smoking - the affect on surrouding area due to the toxic smokes given out. Imagine if you walk in an area filled by smokers and accidentally breathe in those chemicals. This is not a good idea of how public are should be promoted. Certainly the smok can be detected by fire alarm, the thing is fire alarm is not automatically set to recognise the false smoke of people not being aware of their surroundings. Yet especially pregnant women can be dramatically influenced by the gas chemicals also elderlies and young kids are not aware of those smell. Smoking is unacceptable in any case of public figure as if no guarantee for those surrouned by toxins. Consequently, smoking is not just a bad reflection in public but also can leave a signifcant impact on surrounding people's life.

Last but not least, smoking directly correlates with individual health. The most common disease caused by smoking is lung cancer which could be lucky up to a year but barely survive once being diagnosed. The fact that lung cancer is inevitable subsequence of smoking yet people acknowledge but not many indeed pratice the idea of health. Or at least smoking could be the only way for them to enjoy themslves, given that cancer is any time near by. As a normal human being, people tend to find easy way to entertainment as part of their emotionalrequirement. However, out of all hobbies to choose, smoking is definitely not a wise choice to sustain life. Not saying about cancer itself but the consequences of financial burden and responsibilities on family of those smokers. Therefore, smoking must be punished and vanished forever in our daily life due to its unbelievable health issues and related social factors on family.

To wrap up, smoking must be banned from any forms of purchases or obbtaining. To aim for the 'clear' public figure and individual health , smokers should be educated of the consequeces. Once again, smoking is an unacceptable behaviour that not just cause their own problems but also a burden to surroundings

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you oppose smoking and argue that it harms health, affects bystanders, and creates social consequences. These points are relevant, and the discussion of second-hand smoke and pregnant women gives the response some support. The conclusion also returns to the view that smoking should be banned. However, the task asks whether smoking should be made illegal, and the essay does not consistently distinguish a complete legal ban from restrictions or education. Some claims are asserted rather than explained—for example, that lung cancer is an “inevitable subsequence” of smoking—and the opening discussion of stress and maturity is not fully connected to the proposed law. To strengthen the response, explain how each reason supports your specific position on legality and qualify broad claims with clear reasoning or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, three body paragraphs signalled by “Initially,” “Besides,” and “Last but not least,” followed by a conclusion. This helps readers identify the main areas of discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are combined without clear links. In the first body paragraph, the discussion moves from teenagers’ image to smoking’s history as medicine and then to effects on younger generations. Some transitions, such as “However” and “Therefore,” do not clearly show the relationship between the sentences they connect. References such as “those actions” and “the thing” are also vague. Group related points more tightly, use clearer topic sentences, and make each paragraph develop one main reason in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “toxic chemicals,” “physical health,” “financial burden,” and “emotional requirement.” These choices show an effort to discuss health and social effects beyond basic terms. However, inaccurate word choice, collocations, and spelling are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “quit reality,” “shout out ho mature,” “public figure” where you mean public space, and “clear public figure.” There are also misspellings such as “digustingly,” “individial,” and “surrouding.” Some expressions, including “lung cancer is inevitable,” are too absolute for the point being made. Build accuracy by learning common collocations for health and legislation, checking spelling carefully, and choosing direct, precise wording rather than translating expressions literally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “However,” “given that,” and “once.” Nevertheless, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms sometimes make meaning hard to follow. For example, “smoking is commonly used as an excuse to quit the hardship of life yet also a way to shout out ho mature they become” lacks a clear, well-formed structure, while “the affect on surrouding area due to the toxic smokes given out” is a fragment. Other examples include “the consequences … on family of those smokers” and “smoking … not just cause their own problems,” where articles, number, or verb forms need attention. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement, articles, and punctuation, especially in longer sentences.

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