Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Smoking impact on consumer hard. Somking can cause seriouse illnesses to people. Government shoul band this products or reduce this produts. Although it can be effect on people body and decrease live age. I will discuss both view point in the paragrph. I frimly agree this view point.

First of all somking can impact to individuals body. it are three advantages. First, if people are smoking daily or some time it can dangoures to people body because it smock very lost and it lost enter to human body direct noise part. as result, They cannot take proplary braith after they date. For example, some time braith fell and people dose not live in life. Furthermore, People face hard disease such as, cancer or TB. it are very dangoures or many people say somtime cancer people does not live long and very medicions problem our life. In adttion, if people somking it impact our children because they saw and learn to detrmintaion hobby. For example, childeren in small ages to smokeing.

On other hand, government should stop this smoking because many people lot of smok. so individuals live long time. For example, Human Anatomy is case surged in hospitall and clinic. Moreover, Government should stay police team in smoking area, so it easily decline criouse problem. For example, if people does not smoking our they rise age life in older age.

Overall, people does not smoking they improve life sates. on other hand, if people smoking it can be impact on body. such as haed and sometime face dangource problem like cancer or TB.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is stated clearly in the opening: “I firmly agree,” and you give relevant reasons, including harm to smokers, illness such as cancer, and the influence of smoking on children. However, the response addresses the question only partially because it does not explain in enough depth whether smoking should be made illegal, rather than simply reduced or controlled. The opening mentions both banning and reducing tobacco, which leaves your precise proposal uncertain. Several examples are difficult to understand or do not support the point clearly, such as “Human Anatomy is case surged in hospitall and clinic.” Develop two or three relevant reasons with clear explanations and examples, and consistently connect them to your view on making smoking illegal.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Furthermore,” and “On other hand” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow, and several points are repeated rather than developed. For example, the discussion moves from breathing problems to cancer, children, and then unclear claims about hospitals and police without explaining the links. Some connectors are also used mechanically or inaccurately, and references such as “it” and “they” do not always make clear what is being discussed. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, explain it in a logical sequence, and use linking expressions only where they clarify the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “cancer,” “government,” “children,” and “smoking,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems strain understanding. Examples include “somking,” “seriouse illnesses,” “dangoures,” and “medicions problem.” Some phrases are also unclear or unnatural, such as “impact on consumer hard” and “rise age life.” These errors make it difficult to understand several supporting points, rather than merely making the writing less polished. Build a reliable set of topic phrases, such as “cause serious health problems,” “second-hand smoke,” and “introduce a legal ban,” and check spelling and collocations carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if people are smoking daily…” and a reason-result link with “because.” However, control of sentence structure is limited, and frequent errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “it are three advantages” has an agreement error, while “people does not live” and “they saw and learn” show problems with verb forms and agreement. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “First, if people are smoking daily or some time it can…” where the clauses run together. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add one clear subordinate clause at a time. Check subject–verb agreement, verb tense, articles, and punctuation in each sentence.

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