Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Smoking causes serious health problems and should be prohibited. In this essay, I will delineate why smoking should be made illegal.

Firstly, smoking is the root cause of many lung diseases. This is because cigrattes contain tobacco and other harmful substances that damages lungs. As a result, smoking tobacco in form of cigrattes can severely affect the lungs of smokers. For instance, according to a recent study by World Health Organisation (WHO) suggests that more than 90% of lung cancer is caused by smoking tobacco. This number can fall to below 50% if everyone stops to smoke. Therefore, bannning tobacco will help saves life of multiple people.

Moreover, the smoke released by cigrattes affect the people around it too. People inhale the smoke and that leads to respiratory problem such as asthma. Children are most prone to the smoke released by cigrattes. According to a research conducted by University of Melbourne Medical School showed that majority children that suffer from asthma because they are exposed to smoke from cigrattes when their parents are smoking. Hence, by making cigrattes consumption illegal will not only protect the smokers but also the people around them.

In conclusion, smoking is the primary cause of lung cancer and asthma among children. I strongly believe banning and prohibiting tobacco consumption will prevent these diseases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You take a clear position in favour of prohibition and address two relevant consequences: harm to smokers and exposure to second-hand smoke, including risks to children. The examples about lung cancer and childhood asthma support the argument, and the conclusion restates your view. However, the response is 32 words below the required minimum, so the discussion is relatively brief. Some claims also need fuller explanation: for example, you state that the lung-cancer figure could fall below 50% if everyone stopped smoking, but do not explain the basis for this prediction. To strengthen the response, develop the reasoning and consider the implications of making smoking illegal, such as enforcement or personal choice, while maintaining your clear position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion” help show how points relate. This logical progression is a strength. Some linking is rather formulaic, however, and the body paragraphs mainly follow a repeated claim–example–conclusion pattern. The reference “the smoke released by cigarettes affect the people around it” is also unclear because “it” does not refer naturally to the smoke or cigarettes. Use more varied transitions and clearer referencing, and connect evidence to the argument with explanation rather than relying mainly on linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “lung diseases,” “harmful substances,” “respiratory problem,” and “exposed to smoke,” so the main ideas are communicated. There are also attempts at more formal wording, such as “delineate” and “prohibited.” However, the range is limited and some choices or collocations are inaccurate: “root cause” overstates the point, “smoking tobacco in form of cigarettes” is awkward, and “banning tobacco” does not precisely mean banning smoking. Spelling errors such as “cigrattes” and “bannning” are noticeable, while “saves life” is an unnatural expression. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and proofread spelling; precise vocabulary will make the argument more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some more complex forms, including cause-and-effect clauses with “because” and “if,” and a relative clause in “Children are most prone to the smoke released by cigarettes.” Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “substances that damages lungs” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “the smoke released by cigarettes affect” should use a singular verb. The sentence beginning “According to a recent study … suggests” combines two sentence patterns incorrectly; use either “A recent study … suggests” or “According to a recent study, …”. There are also missing articles and awkward constructions, such as “in form of cigarettes.” Check agreement, articles, and sentence structure, while continuing to use varied clauses.

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