Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world health problems due to bad habbit of smoking are much debate discussion and prople think it should prohibited. While I agree with this point, It government have to improve rules and regulations about this point.

On the one hand, most of people have an idea smoking is one of the serous disaster amoung the moder socity and need to stop these unhealthy habbit imediatly. Firstly, there are significant number of patiants are in the hospital with various type of diseeases that mainly cause by smoking. Cholesterol, diabetes, cancers are few example for them. These type of non-infections diseases are crucal problem for health system and it can handel limited number of paitents. Secondly, smoking will create negative impact for the can young genaration and they can easily addict to these unhealty hobbies.

On the other hand, people have their own right to get the decissons and governmet can't handdle their citizens. In this point, people already know about negative impact of smoking and how it will affect to their health system. Althought with these effect some one want to use cigarates, we can't stop him using rules and regulations. Another point, we can't exactly say smoking is the main reason for health illness of people. It can be occure with deffirent another causes. For instamnce, if some one eat lot of junk food, he could be easily suffering with negative health problems.

In conclusion, althought prople have their own right to select good and bad side, I would argue that governmenr should impose limted access to smoking and it shold prohibited for better future of socitey.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the health risks of smoking and whether it should be prohibited, and your position is broadly clear: you support stronger government restrictions, while recognising individual choice. The examples of hospital patients and young people help keep the discussion relevant. However, some points are not fully explained. For instance, the claim that smoking contributes to cholesterol and diabetes is presented without clarification, and the comparison with junk food does not establish why smoking should remain legal. Your conclusion also shifts from supporting prohibition to recommending “limited access,” leaving the exact extent of your agreement somewhat unclear. Develop the reasons behind your position and state consistently whether you support a complete ban or restrictions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The use of “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the broad direction easy to follow, and the first body paragraph groups health arguments together. Some connections between ideas are less clear or mechanical, however. For example, “In this point” does not clearly introduce the argument about personal rights, while “Another point” adds a claim without showing how it relates to the preceding reasoning. The conclusion’s recommendation of limited access also does not fully resolve the earlier discussion of prohibition. Use more precise links between claims and explanations, and make sure each paragraph advances the same overall position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “negative impact,” “health system,” “non-infections diseases,” and “rules and regulations.” These choices show an effort to discuss public health and government policy, but inaccurate spelling and word choice are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “habbit,” “serous disaster,” “moder socity,” and “unhealty hobbies”; “hobbies” is also an unsuitable word for smoking in this context. Some phrases are awkwardly formed, such as “much debate discussion” and “significant number of patients are in the hospital.” Build a more reliable set of topic-specific collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your arguments clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “While,” “Although,” and “if.” This gives the response some structural variety, but several sentences contain grammatical errors that make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “While I agree with this point, It government have to improve…” has an unclear clause structure, and “there are significant number of patients are in the hospital” combines incompatible sentence patterns. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms, as in “these type … it can handle” and “it can be occure.” Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses where appropriate. Check agreement and verb forms during revision.

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