Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

first of All i am talking about the types of smoking. in these days many kind of drugs are available in the world many kinds of drugs which use in smoking is very easy to get .I believe that many peoples in Pakistan smoke the cigarettes vpaes daily . And i see that many people face the cancer and other illnes like cough and cancer In my knowledge my father is chain smoker. he smokes the cigarettes daily and i remember one day my father ia at rhe last stage of cancer my family is worrieid about it because my is one mn who earn money mY i am also feeling this pain . Ina a few months my father passed way . This moment i am feel that smoking is very bad thing in human life . So in my believe the government took tha action on the companies who makes cigarettes vape and other drugs . first of all government ban all the drugs in mya country because the smoking have very big industry in Pakistan . But it is injurious for health Every year Many people faces the cancer and other illnes wich make by the this companies in my conclusion banned all the drugs in Every country but it is not possible in less time so first you can focus on low mg cigarettes in markers than tha people contro his daily routine and after some month you can less more mg in th cigarettes tha n 9ne day theyou can ban every simomi8ng tjings 8n every human kife

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a relevant position that smoking is harmful and that government action is needed, and the account of your father’s illness gives a personal reason for your view. However, the response only partly answers whether smoking should be made illegal. It shifts between banning cigarettes, vapes and “other drugs,” then proposes reducing nicotine levels before a possible ban, without clearly explaining how this resolves the question. The personal example is emotionally relevant, but it does not establish that smoking caused your father’s cancer, and the broader claims about illness and Pakistan need explanation or support. State your degree of agreement directly, then develop two focused reasons, such as protecting public health and the limits or consequences of prohibition.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from introducing smoking, to describing your father’s experience, to suggesting government action and giving a concluding view. This gives the reader some sense of the response’s direction. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the progression is difficult to follow because several points run together. Connectors such as “first of all,” “but,” and “in my conclusion” are used, but they do not consistently show the relationship between ideas; the final proposal about gradually lowering nicotine levels is especially hard to interpret. Organise the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for your reasons, and a conclusion. Use clear topic sentences and refer back to the central question so each paragraph advances your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “chain smoker,” “cancer,” “government,” “companies,” and “injurious for health,” so the main topic is identifiable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “smoking,” “cancer,” and “drugs.” Inaccurate word choice and spelling sometimes make meaning difficult to understand, as in “low mg cigarettes in markers” and “less more mg.” Some expressions, such as “many kind of drugs,” also do not clearly distinguish tobacco products from other drugs. Build a more precise vocabulary for the issue and check spelling and collocations. For example, distinguish “tobacco products” from “illegal drugs,” and use terms such as “nicotine content” when discussing cigarette strength.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express a sequence of events and use some longer sentences, including the account of your father’s illness. However, sentence structures are limited, and errors in sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation frequently make the message difficult to follow. For example, “many people face the cancer” has an unnecessary article, while “my father ia at rhe last stage” contains an unclear verb form and tense. Several ideas are joined without full stops, making it hard to see where one sentence ends and another begins. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, past-tense consistency in the personal story, and capitalisation and punctuation.

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