Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Smoking is very dangerous thing for human.yes I agree it that is illegal and serious illnesses.

First i would to talk this smoking is very bad maners and very dangerous for human boday .

If any human smoking first their lung are damage and 2nd they inside attack intestine ,lungs,and inner all parts .

2nd they are very bad manner in social society.

when a person take a smoking the younger student and younger human are see it and let they will be start it

In university and other college are student get smoking .when they are smoking ther are ineer depression in mind and whole life .

In my knowledge and my experience are one example my friend are smoking .

it inner side part are very damage .And they are very sick before 2 years

I agrre also this that the smoking are illegal . When a police you on see in smoking they will fine you and they are arrested you. first when a person smoking they confer to medical .

in smoking box in first line written as "Smoking are very bad and harmfull thing"but my people are ignore it and keep it .

in smoking company are not use ourself but they are mading and selling only .

when we see the government ther are not banned the companay because they are achiveing tex from these companies and their will be government are not banned it.

in the world we see almost 60 persent people hunting this smoking.

At last i appeal on government that they are banned those company who are promoting smoking .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that smoking should be illegal, and several points are relevant: you mention damage to health, the influence on young people, and the government’s financial interest in tobacco companies. The example of your friend also supports the health argument, although it is only briefly explained. However, the response addresses the issue only partially because several claims are unclear or unsupported, such as “60 persent people hunting this smoking,” and the reasons for making smoking illegal are not developed in a balanced way. Explain how prohibition would reduce harm and consider a relevant counterpoint, such as personal freedom or the risk of an illegal market, before reaffirming your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an identifiable sequence: you introduce your agreement, give health and social reasons, add a personal example, and finish by appealing to the government. This gives the reader a basic sense of your argument. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and progression is difficult to follow. Repeated markers such as “First,” “2nd,” and “At last” do not show how points relate, while several sentences shift abruptly—for example, from students smoking to depression and then to your friend’s illness. Group related ideas into paragraphs and use clear topic sentences. Then connect each claim to its explanation or example, rather than relying mainly on numbered transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant words, including “serious illnesses,” “lung,” “depression,” “government,” and “companies,” so the main topic is usually recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word choice or spelling sometimes makes meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “very bad maners,” “inner depression,” and “hunting this smoking” do not express your intended ideas clearly; “damage” is also repeated without specifying the health effects. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe smoking as “harmful to public health,” explain that it “damages the lungs,” and refer to “people who smoke” rather than using unclear expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

You attempt to communicate several connected ideas, including cause and effect, but sentence structures are very limited and errors frequently make the relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “Smoking is very dangerous thing for human,” “their lung are damage,” and “they will fine you and they are arrested you.” These show problems with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. Many sentences also lack clear boundaries or use punctuation inconsistently, as in the long sentence beginning “when a person take a smoking.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses: for example, “Smoking damages the lungs, and it can lead to serious illness.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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