Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I strongly agree with smoking can cause serious illness and it should be made illegal.Smoking is when people inhale the smoke from the ciggrettes or any other harmful products. Smoking is very injurious to health, not only for the smoker but also to the people who interact with the smokers or breath in the same environment as the smoker. The people who doesn't smoke but inhale the smoke from the environment are known as passive smokers. Smoking can cause air pollution too. Exposing to the smoke daily or inhaling it can cause many serious health concerns such as lung cancer, emphysema, or asthama etc. When the smoker smokes and inhale the smoke it damages the soft tissues known as alveoli of the lungs due to which the phenomena of gaseous exchange is affected. When people with asthama are exposed to the smoke their asthama is triggered and they start coughing. Ciggrette contains harmful chemicals which when inhaled, can cause alteration in the body. It is not only harmful for the person who is smoking but also for the people who lives nearby him. A survey has showed that majority of the lung cancer patients are those that either smoke or lives nearby a smoker. As we all know that kids have very sensitive immune system when they are exposed to the smoking they may become seriously affected by it. Also, the people who smokes mostly have allergies and they have very weak immune system whenever they are expossed to other visuses they get seriously affected by it. Virus can attack them very quickly. As we know that during COVID-19 the people who were smokers got affected by corona more than the people who were non-smokers. So I would argue that it should be made illegal or atleast it should be banned in public places so that those who doesn't smoke are not affected by it's harmful effect. In conclusion smoking doesn't have any benefit it only brings disaster in life and it should be made illegal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening: you strongly support making smoking illegal, and the conclusion restates this view. You address relevant consequences, including harm to passive smokers, lung disease, and risks to children, and the alveoli explanation gives one point some detail. This meets the task well overall, but the two possible policies—making smoking illegal and banning it in public places—are not reconciled, so the extent of your agreement becomes less precise near the end. Some claims, such as the survey about lung cancer and the comparison during COVID-19, are asserted without a clear source or explanation. To develop the response further, explain why prohibition is preferable to regulation and support fewer examples with more specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable overall sequence: it introduces your position, gives health-related reasons, and ends with a conclusion. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader has little visual guidance through the different points. Many sentences begin with repeated links such as “Smoking,” “When,” and “As we know,” and the ideas sometimes move abruptly—for example, from allergies to COVID-19 and then to public-place bans. This limits the sense of progression and makes cohesion feel repetitive. Divide the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs organised around distinct reasons, and a conclusion. Use referencing and transitions selectively to show how each example supports the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “passive smokers,” “lung cancer,” “emphysema,” “alveoli,” and “gaseous exchange,” which helps communicate the health argument. There is also some attempt at more specific language, such as “soft tissues” and “immune system.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or repetitive phrasing are noticeable, including “ciggrette,” “astahma,” and repeated use of “serious” and “harmful.” Some expressions are awkward or unclear, such as “the phenomena of gaseous exchange” and “alteration in the body.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and choose precise terms rather than repeating general words. This would make your vocabulary more controlled and effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate clauses, for example, “When people with asthama are exposed to the smoke…” This shows some range, and the main message is generally understandable. However, errors occur frequently in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction. Examples include “people who doesn’t smoke,” “the people who lives nearby him,” and “A survey has showed.” The opening also needs a grammatical pattern such as “I strongly agree that…” Several long sentences join multiple ideas, making control less reliable. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and clause boundaries, and break complex explanations into shorter sentences. More consistently accurate sentences would strengthen the response.

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