Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

as we all know that drugs become normal nowdays same as somking is part of drug which cause serious health problems .it should be banned in country

in this era drugs are normal medical shops ,tea points and hospital canteen are prompting it by selling it in their shops.smoking is not only dangerous for us but for our childrens to .biollogically our children get ouir genes moreover ,genitically they will get serious health issues which can not only reason of death for trhem but their children too .

in addition too drugs decrease our age fastly it harms our immune system and most importantly reduce chances of becoming parents as a result it lows quanitity of serum to become as parent .

government should take a proper action on this people so that not only smoking but alchoal should also be banned .their are almost ten to fiifteen was to be drug addicted all of ways should be banned and proper action should be taken on these people so that drug will stop seeling in countries . r

recenly according to reports s. parminder singh jhota dies fighting for punjab angainst drugs and died by ashwani by gun beacuse that medical guy sell capsules of drug parminder sayed him alot put viedoes on instagram no body stop him oppositely he died for his nation and too

i personaly belive that it should be made illegal and government should take action against them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view that smoking should be illegal, especially in the opening and closing sentences, and you give some relevant reasons, including harm to health and effects on children. However, the response only partially addresses the question: it shifts repeatedly from smoking to drugs and alcohol, and the claim that children inherit smoking-related illnesses genetically is not clearly explained or supported. The personal example about a named person and drug capsules is difficult to connect to the specific issue of making smoking illegal. The response also falls 8 words short of the required 250 words. To strengthen the argument, focus on smoking, explain two or three relevant consequences, and support them with clear examples and reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: you begin with your opinion, add reasons in the middle, and return to your position at the end. Connectors such as “in addition” and “as a result” show an attempt to link ideas. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because smoking, drugs, alcohol, inherited illness, and a personal news story are introduced without clear transitions or a consistent line of argument. Several sentences run together, and references such as “this” and “them” do not always make clear who or what you mean. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons, and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one main point with clear links between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “serious health problems,” “immune system,” “government,” and “illegal,” which helps communicate your general position. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the message difficult to understand, such as “somking,” “fastly,” “serum,” and “seeling.” Some expressions are also unclear or unnatural, including “part of drug” and “ways to be drug addicted.” Aim to use accurate, familiar terms rather than forcing complex wording. For this topic, vocabulary such as “tobacco,” “addiction,” “second-hand smoke,” and “public health” would help you express relevant ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentences, for example the sentence beginning “smoking is not only dangerous for us,” and uses basic linking structures such as “as a result.” However, sentence forms are very limited overall, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes obscure meaning. For instance, “drugs become normal nowdays” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “it harms our immune system” does not agree with the plural subject “drugs.” Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several ideas joined by full stops or commas inappropriately. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas using accurate clauses and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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