Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Smoking is a very dangerous for human life. It can create bad effects in our environment. Some people do smoking everyting. Some new gerenation do smoking.

I dont agree, It can play with humans lifes. Our young generation 90% foucas on smoking. New gerenation daily routine in morning first they can wakeup and then smoke. Smoking can pollute our environment. Our government should ban smoking in our country because our new gerenation do smoking everytime. 90% peoples death resons is smoking. Our doctor can gaves headlines dont smoke but we cannot controls in smoking. Our government should work on smoking period. Smokling can distroy our country peoples. Our young generation fastely foucus on smoking. It is bad effect of his health.

We should control smoking in our country then our country peoples could safe. The smoking companies could ban in our country then smoking can control. Smoking create laziness in peoples life. Peoples could not completed his work on time his reasons is smoking beacause smoking can drew peoples lifes. Our young gerenation play any sport games because his illness cannot take permission to go playground and play games like cricket, Football, Hockey.

Our generation foucas on games then they can control on smoking because there mind was fresh they enjoy games. They dont play any games then this focaus on smoking, Free time is very bad time because it can focaus on smoking. Games can change life.It can fresh our mind you should full attentation on games. Games can controls smoking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the topic by arguing that smoking is harmful and that governments should restrict it, with points about health, pollution, and young people. However, the position is unclear: “I dont agree” appears to reject the statement, but the response then says the government “should ban smoking.” This makes it difficult to understand the extent of your agreement. Most claims are asserted rather than explained or supported; for example, “90% peoples death resons is smoking” is an unsupported statistic, and the discussion of sport does not clearly show how it would reduce smoking. To strengthen the response, state your position consistently and develop a few relevant reasons with clear explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some grouping of related points: the response moves from smoking’s harms and government action to the effects on daily life, then to sport as an alternative. However, the progression between these ideas is difficult to follow, and the final discussion of games repeats the claim that young people focus on smoking without clearly connecting it to the earlier argument. Linking phrases such as “because” and “then” are used repeatedly, but they do not always show the relationship between ideas clearly. Paragraphing is limited, and several points are placed together without a clear central focus. Organise the essay into distinct paragraphs, each developing one reason, and use clear transitions to show how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “smoking,” “environment,” “government,” “health,” and “illness.” This allows the reader to identify the main subject, but the range is repetitive and several word choices or spellings make meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “smoking can drew peoples lifes” and “90% peoples death resons” are unclear, while “do smoking” is not a natural expression. Repeated use of “new generation” and “focus” also limits precision. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and collocations; for instance, explain that smoking “harms people’s health” or that governments could “restrict tobacco sales” rather than relying on repeated general claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple patterns, and there are attempts to connect ideas with “because” and “then.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. Examples include “Smoking is a very dangerous for human life,” “Our doctor can gaves headlines,” and “Peoples could not completed his work,” where articles, verb forms, and agreement are not controlled. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “I dont agree, It can play with humans lifes.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, especially subject–verb agreement and verb forms, then add a few controlled complex sentences. For example: “Smoking can harm people’s health, so the government should restrict its sale.”

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