Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that smoking had a detrimental effect on human health and should be banned.Although, some might disagree with this statement,I completely agree with this notion not only because somoking imposes a heavy burden on economy but also because it also imposes heavy hazards on health.This essay will explore how these factors justifymy stance.

To commence with,the predominant reason that compelled me to agree with this comment is that smoking is a serious health hazarda for everyone.It cause dangerous diseases like lung cancer,heart attack and breathing problems.Smokers not only damage their own health but also harm others around them.For example,when a father smokes at home,his children inhale second-hand smoke which cause asthma.Therefore,smoking is not a personal choice,it is a danger for public health.Hence, this crucial element clearly expressess my view.

Furthermore,additional considerable reason supporting my view is that smoking also imposes a heavy burden on economy. Government has to spend a million of rupees on treatment of disease caused by smoking.This puts a extra pressure on hospitals which are already crowded in developing countries like pakistan.MOreover,when a worker falls ill due to smoking,he cannot work and productivity is lost.For instance,according to recent report in Pakistan, the government spends more than 500 billion rupees every day on treating tobacco -related disease,bit it only collects about 100 billion rupees from tabacco tax.This shows that smoking causes a huge loss to the national economy.Thus, this determinant can clearly justify my stance.

In conclusion,I strongly agree that smoking should be made illegal because it is a serious health hazard and it creates many economic problems for the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you agree that smoking should be illegal, and you give two relevant reasons—harm to health and economic costs. The second-hand-smoke example involving children helps explain why the issue extends beyond smokers themselves. This covers the task well, but the two arguments are not developed equally fully. The health paragraph names illnesses and gives one example, while the economic paragraph relies on a specific Pakistan spending comparison without explaining its source or showing how the figures support a ban rather than other controls. To strengthen the response, explain the reasoning behind each example and briefly address a counterargument, such as personal freedom, before showing why public harm outweighs it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. Sequencing phrases such as “To commence with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical because several paragraphs end with similar statements—“clearly expressess my view” and “clearly justify my stance”—rather than developing the link between evidence and claim. Some sentence connections are also awkward, particularly “Although, some might disagree…” and the transition into the economic example. Use fewer formulaic signposts, connect each example directly to the paragraph’s main point, and ensure punctuation clearly separates introductory clauses and sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “detrimental effect,” “second-hand smoke,” “public health,” “productivity,” and “national economy.” These choices help communicate the main arguments, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “predominant reason.” At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or repetitive: “heavy hazards on health” is unnatural, “a million of rupees” is not the intended form, and “determinant” does not mean a supporting reason in this context. There are also spelling errors, including “somoking,” “tabacco,” and “MOreover.” Aim for precise, natural collocations and proofread spelling; repeating “heavy burden” and “clearly” less often would also make the vocabulary more flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause in the introduction and a conditional example beginning “when a father smokes at home.” The main ideas remain understandable, but grammatical control is uneven, with errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries. For example, “It cause dangerous diseases” should use a verb agreeing with “It,” and “which cause asthma” needs agreement with the singular clause or a clearer subject. The opening “Although” clause is punctuated as a fragment, while “a extra pressure” shows an article error. Improve accuracy by checking subject–verb agreement and articles, and by separating complete sentences with appropriate punctuation. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen this criterion.

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