Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Todays, smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.I strongaly agree because smoking is extremely harmful and smoking is very unhealthy plus dengrus with our life. Many humans are smoking with public place and some kids waching they people and children lern to be smoking and they can smoke by many things.

On the one hand, many candidats smoking in all places. Firstly, humans are smoking by public place, house and hospital, furthermore, this public places do not allowed in smoking but humans are smoking with any period. Mostaly peoples smoking to be sigrate, ganja, hukka, bidi many things they are smoking althoug smoking in most reason in humans helth as well as smoking can cause serios illnesses example: cancer, blood cancer, mouth illness, heart attack many illnesses for people life, They should by smoking in home in this reson effect by children health many small kids effect smoking can cause serious illness and many people and children has died with this reson.

On the other, smoking can cause serious illnesses and shuold be made illegal. Secondaly, smoking is very bad and some markets human by the sigrate, bidi, hukka, ganja many things smoking should be banned with all countries. Before smoking is banned but many people sell the illegaly and same children and humans are buy the sigrate in illegaly.

In conclusion, smoking can cause serious illness and should be made illegal. I am strongaly agree becase many people smoking in sigrate withmpublic place plus effect by near childrens humans and effect to be health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“I strongaly agree”—and give relevant reasons, including health risks and children being exposed to smoking. The examples of cancer and heart attacks help show why you consider smoking harmful. However, the discussion is repetitive and does not fully explain how making smoking illegal would address these problems. The point that people still sell cigarettes illegally is relevant, but it is not developed into a clear argument. The response also contains 249 words, one word below the required minimum; the 10 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. To strengthen the response, explain your reasons in more detail and support them with a specific example or a clearer explanation of the effects of a ban.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other,” and “In conclusion.” However, the ideas do not progress clearly: both body paragraphs repeat that smoking is harmful and should be banned, while the second paragraph’s point about illegal sales is left unexplained. Several sentences combine multiple ideas, making relationships difficult to follow, as in the long sentence listing smoking locations, products and illnesses. Some linking phrases, including “Firstly” and “Secondaly,” signal order without creating a clear argument. Group one main idea per paragraph, explain how each supports your position, and use references and transitions that make those links explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “serious illnesses,” “public place,” “children,” and examples such as “cancer” and “heart attack.” These choices make your general subject and position recognisable. However, the range is limited and key words are repeated frequently, especially “smoking,” “people,” and “many.” Numerous spelling errors and inaccurate word choices strain the reader’s effort, for example “strongaly,” “dengrus,” “sigrate,” and “Mostaly peoples.” Some expressions are also unclear or unnatural, such as “smoking with any period” and “effect by near childrens humans.” Build a more accurate set of topic vocabulary and check spelling; use precise phrases for exposure to second-hand smoke, health consequences, and enforcement of a ban.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors, but sentence structures are mostly simple or joined into long, faulty strings. Errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. For example, “many candidats smoking in all places” lacks a finite verb, while “this public places do not allowed in smoking” has problems with agreement and verb construction. There are also recurring errors with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “some kids waching they people” and the run-on sentence beginning “Mostaly peoples smoking.” The conclusion, “I am strongaly agree,” also uses an incorrect verb pattern. Practise complete subject–verb sentences, accurate present-tense forms, and punctuation that separates each main idea.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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